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Saturday, August 29, 2009, 10:11 am
I reali do... Failing again.... feeling the same thing.... Today... during service... i had a lot of thoughts...feelings... and........ I felt the happiness my sister had... when i got saved... Den... i hunger to get the feeling of someone close to mi saved. I was... happy... but... i was sad... I blame myself for not praying hard enough... Not trying hard enough to get my cousin to come... Not toking to her more... I wan to let the whole know... how my church is like... But.... i'm always pulled down... Today... was a veri good chance... to show my cousin... Tat my church is such a nice place.. to be in... Sadly... she simply dun wan to come.. If i have done more... she might have get saved... Its... all my fault... Thinking abt this... breaks my heart.... I found myself... lost for so long.... I lost myself... Thinking back... abt how.. great i can be... how good spiritually i can be.. I lost it all... I lost the word of life in my mouth... Its lost... I wan them back!.. Ain't letting go away from mi... I believe... with them.... i'll get more people save... doing wad i need to do.. building the church. I'm dry.... Idk wad to say... But... i was happy outside... sad in the inside... Stubborn mi... Broken Hearted i'm.. Need more faith.... more more... bigger bigger... Came to realise tat i have lost alot of faith... In terms of spiritually and other things... You... brought mi faith making mi think... i will nv lose in it ever again... But.. you... was also the one who took them away... Bringing mi back to sq1... Some questions.. to ask... tongue tied... and... Even if asked... or... something changes.... Its going to be the same.. i guess.. Idk wad to say.. Thursday, August 27, 2009, 7:58 am
Someone said.. something tat made mi go... little emo.. Haha.... well... i still dun know wad to say.. and i shouldn't blog abt her!. Ok... lets move on... So... during lunch... i order.. mini pot noodles. lolz.. Guess wad.. when i was stirring the noodles.. the flame became big.. and it burn my hand's hair!. Omg la.. i scream lolz.. Den everyone looked at mi.. Haha.... Den after tat.. i got kinda emo.. Started daoing people.... ignoring people... Got mad for nothing.. My my... sounds like the old mi.. Hot temp Novel... Lets hope.. he dun come back : ). Yea... today.. did quite alot of anger things... and thats all... I'm getting confuse... need some help.. and str... Wednesday, August 26, 2009, 7:41 am
Today.. my dream was totally opposite.. my my... I dream abt mi in a plane... and it crashed.. lolz.. Omg.. seriously.. idk wad to do... And i'm wondering wads keep mi back from.. going.. Nothing.. much reali happen today... just the normal life... Zzz.. i hate eating laska... with clam tat is... sour... Pui... not fresh... so er xin... eww!.. Boring.. wed.. but at least... i complete... almost all things tat i need to do... And... tomorrow i need to study my exams... ok..... Tats all.. wish mi all the best. Labels: I will always be there. Tuesday, August 25, 2009, 7:10 am
I went to bed at 12.30. but... 1.20am.. i'm still awake... Haha... had something on my mind.. and i can't stop thinking abt it... My mother asked mi... if i wanna go japan... And.. idk... I asked myself.. y i dun wanna go.. but i can't find the reason. And.. i had this dream last nite. I dream abt mi and my mother.. going to a veri cold place... Wandering to find a place to stay... Soon.. we came to a hotel... and we checked in. I felt hungry.. so i told my mother.. i'm going down stair to buy some snacks... Haha.... on my way to a shop... a gurl followed mi... She was going to the same shop as i'm... Then... suddenly.. she walked towards mi...and pass mi a note... Told mi not to read it.. until she gone... Emm... weird... After tat... she brought mi a cup of hot chocolate and left... I open.. the note... and i read it... My name is jane... My number is.......(I dun rmb it...) I find u a interesting guy... and.. wanna be friend with u.. U wanna text mi.. when we get back to SG?.. Will be interesting knowing u : )... After tat ... i woke up.. Normally.. i dun rmb my dream.. after i wakes up.. this time.. i did... Guess.. either.. i'm going crazy about gurls... Or.. if i go,someone will be saved. Or... i can find my future wife!..emm?... -.-..... Hahas... i just dun know whether to go japan anot : (. Yea... tats about my dream.. Today.... i saw a dam cute kid!... Lol.. i love kids man.. :/... I'm also veri despo to get one as soon as possible -.... And i wish i can get it now.. Lolz.. I wonder which gurl willing sia... Lolz.... Den.... when i think abt kids.. i got sian... tat i need money for milk ETC... Roar... Everything have a price to pay! Lolz.. >3 kids man! Tats all today.. : ) Labels: Always wan to be there. Monday, August 24, 2009, 8:11 am
Maybe.. i haven been doing this for awhile.. Its your choice.. Sad... this normally.. happens.. when i break down.. losing faith and hope... I seriously... need to draw str from God.. Needa break through....... Idk.. wad to say... Something... happen in class today... Zhi peng cause a mini explosion in class lolz..!!.. He overheat something den it exploded in front of him! Haha.. Tats the joke of the day.. I reali reali wish... that... a good choice can be made.. from u .... whom i wish for.. Labels: Always there ........... Sunday, August 23, 2009, 9:15 am
I haven been blogging for quite awhile.. My blog will be soon dead if i dun lolz.. Lalal.. some i came back to save this blog!... I realise tat this blog have been around since i was sec two... Though i dun reali post everyday tat time... it kinda wrote out my life in school. I'm missing my sec school time... Yea.. haha.... i'm here to tok alittle bit abt Elliot. I felt sad for him... penguin .... He can't wash other parts of his body other den his stomach... Sad.. :(... Dun worry Elliot i'll help u wash the other parts of your body ok!?. :D... My exams is coming on this friday.... And i haven started studying .... my my... Yay... my dad came back home already lolz... He went overseas tat i didn't even know!... Until i need him to sign cheque for mi... den i know he MIA. Lolz... My church 10th year anniversary is on this coming sat..! So excited... Hopefully.. my cousin will want to come... Lolz... she is simply full of excuse not to come!... Saying its boring... Omg... tats a word tat will nv be use on my church!... Or should i say... tat word.. will nv happen in my church!... The coolest place, the most happening place, the most fun place.... Lalalala.... alot la.... say liao... day break already! Haha.... Yea... Shes just like mi when i was young.. afraid to try new things.. But one thing is for sure tat Melissa is coming lolz... Such a good gurl listen to her brother.. :/.. Haha..!! Roar.... Woo... I have been eating 2.50$ chicken rice.. everyday... to save money!.. HAha... i dare not count how much i have saved.. Cause it either sad or happy... Haha... hopefully... i have enough for my building fund!.. Lolz.. i haven think of the amount i wanna give.. Mymy...Lolz... Numbers.. maths.... I love maths man!... Make my brain crack... Wooo...but i'm just lazy to think at times...Or should i say most of the time :/... Come on la...... Novel is pro de ok!... Just see if i wan it or not onli lolz.. Novel makes things possible.. :D... U try mi... Hehe.... I'm going crazy ... toking to myself lolz.. Haha.. this is interesting... Emm... wad else... tat interesting.. tat i can blog it out man..! I need to bring life into my blog... Woosh! Today... i'm going to slp at 5am again.. :/.. This gonna be a drag... Haha.... Oh.. yea.. just rmb... I'm going to be a good boi.. Haha....Good boi... Yea... i guess it time... when i reali settle down.... Or... maybe not... I guess... it time for mi to change... from being so free spirit... Haha... but.. its a good thing... u know... Just tat... sometimes.. it gives yr.. GF... not much security(I dun have one :D). Haha..Lalala.. Dam... Oh yea....This might be alittle emo... But.. its in my head for quite a while.. Yea... My God.. is truly.. amazing.. He did things... so wonderfully... He changed people's heart... Impacted people's life.... It happen to someone who was close to mi last time.. Haha... Though... i " lost " tat friend... But... deep in my heart.... i'm happy for her... Though... sometimes... jealousy and anger takes place... I guess.. it a test for mi.... Past few week sermon.. about Bigger... kinda... guiding mi.. back the path... Moving on... Haha... I love to see people... go from.. Just for fun - A litte interested - Interested - On fire!!! lolz... Dam.. cool... Hahha. People change... for the good or for the worst... People change. People changed... Hahas... Nth much more tat i wanna say anymore... I LOVE YOU!!! Lolz... Wednesday, August 19, 2009, 6:44 am
I haven blog for 2 days... Yep... Some interesting things happened.. Well.. Starting from ytd.. One of my friend... made a gurl pregnant... and ask her to drop the baby... Haiz.. idk wad to say... Told him... he will regret when he grow up. And... one more... is... Haiz... its better not to blog out.. so ....:/.. Yea... i think tats all for ytd... Today.... I my test was kinda badly done... Haiz.. And... sometimes... i wonder... Y i have this fucking jerk in my class... Fucking idiot... People like u are so idiotic... irritating... Thinking u are the best toking as if u are the pro... and big shit. And when someone hit u on the head of the nail or wins u... u shut STFU. Fucking useless idiot. Get out of my sight... u disgust mi.. Rahhh.. Labels: I hate u. Monday, August 17, 2009, 7:11 am
I wonder wad was today abt.... I was complete... veri.. down... And i just dun know wads the problem.. Haiz... I reali dun know wad to say... Saturday, August 15, 2009, 10:15 am
Just dun have the feeling... cause.. i dun see much tag.. haha.. But.. i realise.. quite some people read my blog and dun tag! Yea.. i realise tat Elliot reads my blog too haha... Haha.. Well.. i guess today's post will be a little emo.. and a little happy... I went to church today... Pastors were away and they left a video for us.. Haha... though they are not standing on the stage... The video was quite real and i thought tat they were standing there.. Yea... the final part of BIGGER... It was... veri meaningful... It made mi emo.. and thought alot... but... i still like it... Cause it helped mi more to open up my heart more... I was a little hit back by the sermon... But... its also... where i learn new things tat i dun know.. Crappy... i'm speechless... to wad happen today... To make Elliot... not so bored.. so i crack my brain and post this blog.. Claps for Elliot!haha!... Tar de kong lao. I have to say... i was a little emo over the same person and over the same thing... I guess.. it just my problem now... Haha... be frank... i think of her every now and then... When i slp and when i wake up... haha.. the things she said goes in my mind in and out.. Just tat i dun get emo must anymore.. I'm going to back to my normal...self... Giving real smiles... playful smiles.. Back to making people irratated haha... Tats fun ok! But... when i give a smile.. sometimes i wonder... if wad i gave is real or fake... I once said.. a smile is nothing much... And i got a reply... a smile means a lot of things!... Haha... well... tat depends on the user itself... on his way of smiling. One more thing tat makes mi sad is..(if i offended u... sorry.. it just breaks my heart.) We are from the same Cg... And u are "ignoring" mi.. I reali dun know wad to do.. and wad to say.. Sometimes.. i keep holding back wad i wan to say... Its just not mi... u know?... i dun like to keep things in my heart... when i wan to say them badly.. So.. sometimes.. i wans to say something... can i can't ... i just laugh at myself.. and give a silly smile. I know.. u dun wan mi to think tat i stand a chance to be back with u... Its ok... for u to say tat... But.. sometimes .. i just feel sad tat within the same Cg... and u are not toking to mi... Today... u walked past mi.. asking someone... u wan buy drink ?... I want to say.. i want green tea... But.. i held back... idk wad will be response.. or.. will i create awakardness.. So.. i didn't say.. There was many things tat i wan to say... I guess i just say them here..: ) Well.. tat day... i saw yr twit .. saying tat y everyone in yr friendlist is prettier den u... Haha.. i wanted to ask shipei to pass my message... so i wun be the on telling u... What i want to say is... If a gurl keeps saying her friends around her are prettier den her.. she will nv be pretty.. and.. its not the external tat matters... its wads inside... I guess.. i said tat to u before... And... i guess u know it in your heart.. but u are just twitting for fun.. : ).. Hahas.. Tied tongue... Yeap... Theres alot things more tat i wan to tell u but... i just dun find it rite... Anyway... all i wan to say it... i'm on my way of putting the past behind. Guess tat all for my post today...(many other things not said.) Labels: Tied tongue Thursday, August 13, 2009, 6:40 am
Lolz.. I can't believe i was sent for counseling because my attendance was bad... Emm.. cool..!.. I realise tat.. for every school i went to... i was counsel but the school counselor. From primary school till ITE.. Omg lolz.. haha... Wads wrong with mi.. oh my :/.. Thinking back.. i didn't notice tat i was counsel so much! Idk wad more to say haha... Yea.. school.. was kinda boring.. and had a stupid talk today.. Totally a waste of time... and i can have better opportunity cost! Haha.. Econs.. on my :/... Thinking back.. this is the period when i went out with my "sister" Yaoyun... Sad.. its being three years.. hahaa.. Haven seen her anymore... Somethings tells mi tat she already out of gurl's home early this year... But.. didn't manage to contact her.. maybe she just dun rmb mi anymore.. One of the things tat saddens mi... Wish i tok to her again.. haha... Thinking back... around this period was when.. we went out for the first time and watch the fireworks.. Haha... quite fun : )... Rahh... Yaoyun.. where are u ?... U know u are my first sister..??.. so... y u left : (... I still think of u now and then do u know tat?... U always been in part of my heart haha!... Saying this sentence above i realise tat my heart is divide into alot of places to fit alot of people in!. Oh my.. Haha. Lala... i didn't feel emo today ... Emm.. abit.. when shipei and seeyin didnt reply mi.. Oh my :/.. Wooo...... go go go chiong arh!!.. Wednesday, August 12, 2009, 7:27 am
Yea... Zhi peng shared something with us.. Yea.. to know wads happening to him.. kinda relates him to mi.. When he said out wad is happening between him and his GF.. makes mi.. sad.. When i think back last month.. Yep... and.. i have somethings tat i wanna share with her.. Things tat onli.. she know... and i onli can tell her and no one else... It irritating tat i can't tell her.. Yea... thinking of it.. makes mi have the urge to tell her... But... even if she reply... it will no long be the same.. haha.. I'm not reali expecting her reply to be the same as last time.. As i know she already dun wan the relationship... So.. the more i try to bring back the past she will ignore mi again.. Haha.. though she is not toking to mi nowadays... But.. i guess.. i'm just back to the normal mi... Silence of a phone everyday.. Onli got 4 messages today.. ouch.. sad... one looking for my sister... other 3 is jing fen updating things. Haha... woke mi up from my slp.. Yea.. still have the feeling of telling her wad happen to my friend and how i feel.. Tooo bad :( .. School was boring again today.. Ate chicken rice for lunch... Planning to save more money.. And eat cheaper food. : ) Yea... Guess tats all abt today.. Tuesday, August 11, 2009, 7:51 am
Haha...Yea good... A good start.. : )... My hair is sooo short... Lolz... Cry. Today.. haha.. went to eat kfc... Then Gena made mi finish her cheese fries.. Lolz.. Was kinda full.. haven reali ate till FULL for quite a long time.. Rahh... Haha.. lesson as usual is boring.. Bo bian?. Yea... and back home!.. Woo... my mother asked mi to do something i nv did be4... Frying fillet... Omg. Before i started... she ask mi.. "Eh.. u sure u dun wan wear shirt?.." " Ya la... ma fan la.. hot lei.. zzzz" I replied... Lolz... Den... when the oil started heating up... I threw the fillet inside Lolz.... Den i run away... den the oil start splashing... Lol!!!!... Den bo bian.. i have to go closer to flip the fillet lolz.. Den the oil tio mi den i start screaming lolz.. Ouch.. Haha.. to all guys... who dun wear shirt at home... WEAR it when u are frying something.. Ignore the heat.... or u feel the PAIN... Lolz. Trust mi it hurts lolz.. My mother laughed at mi screaming when the oil hit mi... Tats all!! RAhh.. haha.. Monday, August 10, 2009, 7:37 am
Den i when to slp haha.. But.. then.. i can't I was flipping over here and there lolz... Then.... not knowing i fell aslp haha.. cute rite?.. zzz.. I woke up at 12 later on lol.. Tat little amount of slp.. but i'm still alive.. After tat... i ate lunch den my mother ask mi go and cut my hair... Hahah.. thinking to just now... the auntie reali cut my hair till veri short sia .. Den she helped mi highlight alittle lolz.. But... not veri ming sian... Nvm.. exams are coming up i dun wan tio tai ji haha.. Yea... Tat all... and i realise tat.. with earpiece on... i can't hear anything outside! Lol... And... the music is much more better!.. Haha... Haiz... Listening to your music everyday... Laughing at how nice and how good u are... Laughing at wad a person u are.. : ). Sunday, August 09, 2009, 10:12 am
I realise... how the devil works and how God works... Devil.. controls by using our fear... But... we fear God.. So... its the other way round... Two years ago... or three.. Was brought to a place which i dun reali like.. A place where the atmosphere is totally the opposite of church.. I was so scare when he gave mi a fear... and made mi so scared but do nothing then to follow it.. Later on... i hate my mother for bringing mi there.. He tied mi up with heavy chains.. as a punishment... But now.. i have God in mi.. i no longer need to fear him... And theres a song tat says.. my chains are gone.... I being to understand... Tat with God.. whatever tat the devil have places in my heart,my mind sets, tying mi up will be gone... Thinking back... To realise tat theres a reason y God dun show himself in real.. Y God don't say out wad have we done wrong but would rather us to confess to him. I came to realize tat there is a reason for it... Because of the place i was brought to.... The devil comes with a atmosphere with fear and darkness.. A very uncomfortable feeling.. Though u can't see it... u can feel it at times.. I experience it and the feeling.... is not very nice... or should i say not nice.. Its fears mi with his presence But God.. comes with a presence tat u love it so much... and wish u can just dwell in it. I love the presence of God. Yea.. Well.. back to the other topic... If.. God would have to show himself... infront of u... And tell u all the things tat u have done wrong.. all the sin tat u made... I'm sure.. u will have the feeling.. everytime u are doing something.. U felt as if u are being watched. It give u a feeling tat u wun like it.. Being through it... knows how it feels like... Though there are other god in this w/e.. it called... But i believe in my God Jesus... For he have shown mi.. wad is he capable of.. The things i can do with him in mi.. Thinking back... I have a wonderful past..childhood. I realize.. tat... i knew God.. since i was young... But i nv reali go deeper into it.. I have so much hunger for God when i was in P school.. Skipping recess just to hear the word of God.. Cool... In my kindergarden... I knew him already.... Prayed when we eat haha... Tat so cool.. Yea... i still rmb.. tat time... my father have a stomachache ... It was reali bad and have to be hospitalize.. I rmb.. veri clearly... I knee down beside him whole my hands tight together and prayed. Father God... please help my father.. dun let him be like this. Heal him lord.. help him.. be normal again.. in the name of Jesus chirst. Amen... The next day after he came back from his check up.. his ok.. : ).. I knew it was God.. But... the sad thing is... I always ask God for things tat i wan... Then later fail him.. for wad i promise tat i'll do if he helps mi... He have so much forgiveness to forgive every sin.. Every promise tat i made. He indeed proves himself worthy.. God is amazing.. so amazing tat idk wad to say... Totally speechless.. I'm going to pray for the people i wan them to get save so much.. Guess tats where i'm going to restart again.. Hahaha.. guess this is end of my post! Rah... Jesus.. thank you for everything. >3 Labels: Thank you for everything. Saturday, August 08, 2009, 9:49 am
Oh my... Lolz. Desiree was wondering how can i blog abt wad happen in my life everyday... And.. sometimes.. i'm simply lazy to blog... Thinking back... i reopen my blog for one reason. But the reason... is no longer a reason.. Haha... nvm!!.. Well...Shipei kanna H1N1... Sian.. didn't see her in church today... But... at least i get to see john... Tats.. the good thing.... There is two things tat made mi veri happy. First... i gave my tithe ! after so long haha.. Second... today... i totally didn't emo over her... Though i can't get her off my mind at times.. but.. haha.. i'm still happy with my progress.. And i found out listening to songs keeps mi from thinking about her.. Yea man..!!... Soon... she will not affect mi anymore.. Yea.. i'm happy with it... Tats all.. lazy say more haha.. Sorry! Labels: Its call OVERFLOW. Wednesday, August 05, 2009, 7:58 am
Though the starting of the day was veri sian... But... at the end... or near to the end.. it was a veri good one... My alarm didn't go off and so.. i woke up late and didn't go to school.. Haha.. So.. i stayed at home and didn't do anything much... Yea.. den i was thinking if i should go for CG... My ah yi.. scold mi... saying... there no point... no going just because of her... Haha... So... at the last min... i pack pack bathe... And chiong out!... I was late for 10 mins :D Well... u know.. i have something to confess... I haven been going to CG like ... abt 1 year?... lolz.. somewhere there la.. Yea... i didn't regret going for CG. Church is a place where i can rest my heart.. A place tat find peace... Well... today... At Cg... Jieru.. said everything tat i needed.... At first... i was like.. waaa.... Dun siao siao.. i come surely got reason... Must be God liao... can't be fake... Everything was like spoke out of her mouth... and it was like.. wad i needed.. Yea... dun lose heart... Go back to the first love that is so much more den any other person can give. She also said... tat leader will nv be too busy to tok to u more abt getting new friends... And she saying tat... hit mi hard... I just realise tat how much off track and how lost was i today... My mind set have changed so much... And... i use to think tat.. leaders are busy.. and we should tok to them or else.. it will be disturbing... Later i know tat it defeats the purpose of church.. Haha.. silly mi!!.. Yea.. I learn alot today la... lolz.. lazy say everyting.. Blog for like 1 h already lolz..!! omg... Tuesday, August 04, 2009, 6:25 am
I guess.. i'm guess hiding and running away from the problem... But... i feel reali hopless at times.. Like always.. i bring disappointment.. U wun be the first one i bring disappointment to... I'm srry... I know i might not be doing the best.. and i know... i should try harder.. I'm sorry... i'm... reali.... veri sorry... If u wan... i can just disappear out of your life.. onces and for all... I'm also veri disappointed with myself... I'm loving a gurl... who dun love mi anymore... I'm missing a gurl i dun miss anymore... I wan this gurl so badly... But... behind all this... I know... she was not meant for mi... even if so.... maybe.. when i'm older... I still cant let go yr smile... Your loveliness.. Your smelly.. Your presence... Your brightness.. Your tight hug... So many things.. I"m sorry... i'm trying my best.. I still love u..... Crappy.. nvm... Bye bye.... My mother asked mi... y your GF nv come already.... Idk wad to reply her.. haiz... Out of the sudden she asked.... randomness.. Monday, August 03, 2009, 9:45 am
I dun wanna see u emo.. I dun wan u to be sad.. This reminds mi.... Tat u once said... I was the one who took off yr emo and sadness... Hahaha... if i have the chance... i will do it again.. : ).. But.. dun think its possible... So.. i'm just saying... i dun wan u to be sad and emo... I wish i can be there to cheer u on... Rahhh.. crap... i should not be saying all this..!!.. Omg... i'm breaking the rule again... Zzz.. Nvm luh.... Promises and rules are made to be broken and forgotten : ).. Cheer up... Dun lose faith.. Labels: Smiles. , 8:51 am
Cooked lunch for my mi and mother... Sad... she can't do much cooking now.. and everything is like on mi.. And today.... she kinda messed the kitchen lolz.. She put the fire starter gun too near to the fire.. den it burned.. lolz.. Den i was playing game and i smell something weird... I ask her wads the smell.. ask was on the fone and asked mi go check... I go check den i saw a fire.. den i shout... Mi ah... zao huo le!... she still on the fone -.-... Den i faster take water and splash on it lolz.. And den i realise my skill of splashing water is so Zzzz...? Den... i wore the shirt to school again.. Today.. with a different meaning.. was sad.... Haha.. in case u dun know.. tat shirt have two meaning.. sad and happy.. Haha.... i emoing today... lalal crap. Val.. asked/said something to mi.. But i forgot.. but i find wad she said meaningful. I just cant help it : (. Anyway.... on the way back... I saw this gurl.. I saw her a couple of times already haha... And on the train... she was sitting across mi... She was kinda like tired.. and slping.. But den we keep looking at each other.. haha.. So i told my ah yi abt it.. Den she said.. try smiling at her next time. See if there is a good reaction... Lolz.. i wonder when i see her!!.. Lolz... ahha Labels: Dun wan her to be emo. Sunday, August 02, 2009, 8:08 am
Woke up.. and i dun feel like doing anything... Trying my very best to forget.. trying my very best to be happy... But everytime i tried.. it always brings mi back down... I'm like hanging down there going up a slope.. and later dropped down... I find it very hard to find whats wrong with mi... I can always pay attention and noe wads going on around the people with mi... But i just can't pay attention to myself.. I just wan my old self back... But i also wan something else back... The things i wan both crashes with each other... Sometimes i dun noe which one to pick.... I pick my old self.. i have to let go... On the other hand... i dun feel like letting go... I'm tired.... i dun feel like fighting on... But... it impossible.... The world is still moving when i wanna stop and let times freeze... Totally.. hopeless... My weakness.. is always the spot i die.... I reali dun noe wan i wan.... Of all gurls... i'm stuck with on.. 24/7 in my mind... Tell myself.. i have to get it out.. or else i'm not moving... Y.... Y.... was making mi not letting go... Starting to hate everything..... Cling there... swinging sides to sides... People can't always be there for mi.... I need to pick up where i fell... And i'm not... Idk wad i wan.. Idk wad to do... Idk where i'm... I'm lost.. I'm confuse.... I'm trying my very best to forget and let go..... Guess i'm not tat strong... Labels: I wan a hug.... Saturday, August 01, 2009, 9:58 am
So shock tat Jan asked mi to go church together with her... And soo.. i did lo.. haha... When i reach there it was quite early... Lolz... and i was feeling great and happy. Den it was service!!.. It was cool haha.. Yea... i was quite happy and feeling good. During service.. i felt tat.. the old mi is coming back! haha I was starting to think i was ok... Tat feeling onli lasted for awhile today.. During service.. my headache came to mi again.. sad... Well... after service.. i was still ok... But... when i saw her hugging Yi wen... Suddenly... i wish i was tat one being hugged ... After dinner.... i kinda felt little emo... Val... started singing some songs.... Jie kou... haiz... Haha... sometimes... things are not easy den i thought haha.. Yea.. made mi think of her... And with her walking around.. it makes mi feel sad... slowly... After tat my joy... slowly fade away.. Darkness start to over come.. When i look into her eyes... idk.. always... i got the same feeling.. The feeling tat she dun wanna do this... And she will be coming back one day... I wonder... if it is real.. or i'm just thinking too much again... After sitting down in church for awhile i got bored... She started playing with nic's cam... Den i left to play volley ball.. haha .... W/e... i felt emo.. slowly bit by bit.... Den... after tat ... was abt to go home... when taking the escalator up the MRT.... Felt tat.. she was there... and.. i was right... Saw my Cg there.. haha.. Yea... i saw her eyes... again... those eyes.. Haha.. Den soon.. people go their own ways when the train came... On the train... my thoughts went wild... Guess i let it be.. haha... Lalalal.. nothing much on the train happen... Just some thoughts crazy... :).. Labels: Those eyes. |
thedeceptionist
Vanity isn't a sin, a little narcissm wouldn't hurt.18 November 1992 hichewy@hotmail.com a hot lover of Christ |
partnersincrime
A Aerina B Belle C Cheeyong G Grab R Ranford Rebecca Regina S Seeyin J Jaslin Jasmine Joey Jasmine X XiaoYing XiaoTing wheni'mgone
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An accidentality production Inspiration from DancingSheep & BONBON:D |
theventingmachine
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