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Wednesday, July 15, 2009, 8:16 am
Now i noe how it feels like to be disappointed. Life is about up and down.. Gonna be careful to noe when u are hitting the floor. Today.. i woke up at 10am.. intending to go to school.. But den.. i just dun feel like it.. I feel so depressed and disappointed. All i wanna do if.. hide myself in something and keep doing it.. Den i start studying and noting my econs.. For a straight 2h.. den my mother came back.. She broke the silences in the house. The min she step in the house, she start screaming and yelling.. Quite super pissed off. Den she start calling people and tok so loudly tat i can't concentrate.. Fucking piss off.. Wore my clothes packed my book and notes and went downstairs.. Today is the day tat i studied the most for my self.. 6h in a row.. The longest last time was 3h -.-... Super super depressed. Econ exam on friday.. And i onli completed 5chaps.. So dead.. My thoughts have been lesser now. But they nv end.. i wonder y. I wish i can just press fast forward, so it will end faster.. Trying my best to let it go. All i wanna noe is wad kinda person am i ?.. Guess tats hard.. I saw karma coming back on mi... Regretted wad i did last time.. Too bad.. i see it all coming back to mi now.. I'm trying to forgive, but hatred is coming more den forgiveness. Things have yet to change for so long.. Veri long.. ever lasting.. How saddening.. I have return to the emo mi.. When i got out for just 1 month plus..and now threw back into it again. Gonna climb out of it slowly.. Memories, had alway been meaningful to mi. Though it bring sadness and and happiness. Places in my memory can recall many things. Eunos, PGSM's creepy staircase, Bugis mrt station, Airport popeye, My own house, My bed, My couch, My bear, My first shirt, Church, City leisure, My mrt station, Mrt, My house's bus stop, The song no body, So many much more.. tat saying them out makes mi more sad. Always been a loner.. Emo kid is my name .. Gonna end it soon, hopefully. Still tinking if i should go school 2morrow.. I wan nothing, but just yr response. I met up with my buddy today.. Saw his pretty stead... haha..winked at her and my buddy scold mi.. Haha.. joker :D.. Today's post is just like a roller coaster.. upppp annndd dowwnn. Tats life anyway... Hahas.. even if u read.. u wun care.. I'm sorry but i still have to say.. Nothing hit mi harder den wad u said. How i hate this word sorry. A word tat hit mi always. Idk y i'm saying this.. but... i'm just saying it.. I'm still immature i guess. How i wish there is someone there for mi.. who is transparent to mi. And i can share everything with him/her. Someone that will stand by mi,support mi guide mi through the hardness of life. I thought of going into army.. now.. Wads wrong with mi.. Somethings for sure, I lived up to all my promises, nv make promise tat u will break. Yea... if u read ... u noe wad i'm toking abt... maybe.. It will be better i make u hate mi. Cuase.. wad i wan can't be get.. Like wad i said be4.. it feels so irratated tat u can see but u cant have.. Lifes is about to love, but not to hold. Onces a loner alway a loner.. gonna let it be.. Labels: Emoing like always.. |
thedeceptionist
Vanity isn't a sin, a little narcissm wouldn't hurt.18 November 1992 hichewy@hotmail.com a hot lover of Christ |
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