Love mi or hate mi. Doesn't matter

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novel

don't look up just let them think

there's no place else you'd rather be in now

you can't turn back

because this road is all you'll ever have

plugin&play Music saves our souls The tunes go here.
profile, entries, tagboard and links navigations respectively (from the top).	Tuesday, November 24, 2009, 8:16 AM Weee.. finally.. get my hands on blog again.. haha.. Life have been interesting and fun.. And its getting more and more impactful.. I made my choice to commit to Christ and believe in him.! I started my follow up.. and now.. i know how to share John 3:16.. I always want to know what is it about and want to know how to share to others.! Thanks to PeiJun.. now i know how!. Yea.. my life is changing.. and more have yet to come. Now tat i have Christ in mi, i can see God's plan for mi.. I hear him speak to mi.. And.. now.. i'm starting to do the work of his.. I got my cousin ShuQi.. to children church.. 3 weeks back.. She is coming back for three weeks after i brought her! WOW! Amen! Its so cool. Dou my mother reali dislike the idea of it.. Which resulted mi to pray more about it.. One nite.. (Everyone... open your eyes.. be ready for this..) My mother.. told mi she dreamt about Jesus. Wow!.. I bet all of u are jealous tat she dreamt about Jesus and u didn't.. Haha!! Even i'm jealous haha!. Yea.. I asked her.. how she know He is Jesus?. She replied... oh.. His hair.. beard.. Wow ahah!! Cool uh?. Then i asked her.. wad did He told u ?. She said.. oh.. He told mi alot of things.. but i forgot.. I onli rmbed.. He told mi not to worry about u.. because u know wad u are doing and u have a plan. And ask her to let mi go and trust in mi. How many people of u wan to say a amen for tat?! Haha.. Yea.. it was cool.. Now i start to see God's plan for mi.. as i grow more into him.. He have shown his promises and have done them... ever since tat day i made the choice to commit myself to him!. Now.. i have a vision.. a aim and a destiny. Amen!.. I'm no longer aimless slacking around.. waking up everyday without knowing where i'm heading in life.. But now i know... I'm going to bring my whole clan to Christ.!.. I know.. this is not going to be easy.. but.. i have Christ in mi. And nothing shall stand in front of mi from doing it.. I'm going to learn and start leading people.. Going to become a CGL.. Last time.. i thought of becoming a CGL... den.. i looked at my "pattern" and said.. Lolz.. mi ?.. Kai wan siao.. impossible.. Guess wad?! Now.. CGL??.. Emm.. Steady.. lets go!.. chiong arh!. Haha.. Its cool tat.. God told mi.. if u wan to become a CGL.. Its not impossible.. But he wans mi to do one thing.. Grow mentally,change my actions,my behavior.. Then he gave mi a reason why should i do it.. Taking as an example.. if i'm a CGL with my pattern now... which is so childish T.T. New friends tat come to church.. and they talk to mi.. and see tat i'm so childish.. They will not dare to shall their problems.. They will think tat i'm not mature enough to handle their problems.. And.. souls will be lost because of this.. So.. i told myself.. i shall be mature in my mind.. Souls will not going to be lost because of my negligence.Amen! Yep.. Novel is going to have a break through in his life.! His whole clan is going to be save.. How many of u can imagine.. i have 5 family members in CCH. 3 in Zone F... and 20+ aunts and cousin attending main service.. Lolz.. its going to be as if my family open the church :/. Haha!!! tat day will come.. Yea.. let us all have faith in each other tat we are able to do great things with Christ in us. No one is going to be emo!.. Let the emo say they are happy.. Quote from Joel 3:10 ¹⁰ Beat your plowshares into swords and your pruning hooks into spears. Let the weakling say, "I am strong! Yea man.. Haha... how i love to praise God.. and sing praises to him.. and see the mircales in my life.. My cousin XiaoWei,XiaoYing.. was shock tat i would bring Shuqi to church. Then i told about how cool my church was and gave her our church web site for her to see. And she say my church is cool! She might be coming with her sister this weekend! Amen.. will the power of the holy spirit helping she will come.! Yea... haha... i think tats all tat have been happening to mi this few weeks.. More great things is going to come!.. stay tune.. haha!.. Labels: Break Through. Saturday, November 07, 2009, 11:41 AM I want to share my testi.. so.. this is it! I came to church when i was sec3.. i was invited by my sister.. yea.. for the first time in service.. i dun reali know.. what i felt.. but... i came back almost everyweek for service..I had some small changes in my life..but.. they are not big.. i have problems here and there... i dun pray.. i dun do QT.. i just go to church.. spent time... waste time..yea.. thou i was in church.. there is still somethings tat i long for.. i had not reali invited Chirst into mi.. and i just day by day... say i'll Qt.. but ending up i didn't.. Yea.. tat.. happened for awhile.. and nothing change.. i was thinking tat.. kk i go to church.. if i die.. i'm going to heaven.. its good already... but.. later as i walk down more in church.. i realise.. tats not wad God reali wan mi to do.. So..after my N lvls.. i didnt do well.. and can't make it back for sec5.. i was quite depressed.. and gave up on myself.. blaming myself for everything.. then.. i soon started to back slide... i stop serving.. i was taken out of usher..but.. thanks to the friends who were there.. ShiPei and John.. who is always trying to talk to mi.. asking mi to come back to church.. So.. it was RedRain.... i ask ShiPei.. to come and fetch mi.. and she did.. so i went for Red Rain.. on tat tat.. i met a new gurl... which.. came when i was didnt come in church... she caught my eye.. and.. i tried to get to know her.. and soon.. we kinda got together.. but.. i didn't wan people to think tat.. i onli come to church because of her.. so.. i tried to prove it to people.. who i think tat might have tat thought in mind..after tat.. mi and her got along quite long.. and i was attending church every week.. but.. my relation with God.. is onli..... like tat.. veri distant.. one day.. tat gurl left mi... i got quite depress... cause i thought tat she was the last i will have.. so.. i threw myself to God.. doing small prayers.. when i'm super super down.. and praising him and worshiping just to take away the pain tat i had in my heart... soon.. after awhile.. my emtion.. was better.. but.. i still hunger for her... and.. i stop praying... this when on for like 5 month.. i was still .... emoing... always thinking abt her.. so.. during october... i started going alittle " crazy".. i was hearing alot of voices in my head.. i was unsure abt myself.. i heard.. the right thing to do.. and i heard what is the wrong thing to do.. and i heard myself .... ingore or this.. you are who u are.. just be content.. then.. these thought reali keep going in and out of my mind.. tat idk wad to do.. tat i asked Val and JingFen what is happen to mi.. and what i should do.. and Jingfen.. ask mi to pray.. and tok to the leaders...I didnt reali tok to my leader.. because i was ashamed of wad happen..During one serivce.. Pst kong.. preach about what to do.. when u dun know.. wad to do.. So.. during the october period... there was Cg.. and i decided to go.. and.. JieRu prayed for mi.. welcoming mi back to the CG.. coming back to God.. but.. i wasn't reali back..then.. i rmbed one service.. veri clearly.. as the service start.. a question hit mi... When are u really coming back to mi?.. i was stun when i heard this question in my mind.. i was wondering.. was wrong.. y got this question.. as the service goes on.. i began to understand the question.. and knew tat it was God asking mi.. I was always in church.. always there.. but.. spiritually.. i was veri far away from him.. God asked mi when i'm reali coming back to him.. he not onli wanted my heart.. but he wan my everything.. to go to him.. then.. i began to hear tat... i can do great things with him in mi.. and all i need to do.. is to invited him into my life.. and trust him.. and have faith.. pray.. and build a relationship.. with him.. sliding back to him.. so.. i told jingfen about.. what i heard.. and the next thing i knew.. i went for Cg... and Jieru prayed for mi.. again.. I felt so blessed.. lolz.. i went to two CG.. and got prayed for for both CGs... that day.. i made a decision.. tat.. i will come into God... slide back into him.. and nothing is doing to stand in front of mi to block mi from growing more into Chirst.. for its in mi.. from tat day on.. i start doing my QT.. start praying.. i pray when ever i'm free.. on the train.. going to school.. and.. everytime.. i done it.. i felt so recharged.. and ready to fight the spiritual war.. but.. tats not the end of it.. as i had reali long for the presence of God.. on the service on 31 october.. once the service started.. i felt.. a gust of happiness going into mi.. and all my fears gone away... nothing but happyniess.. on the spot i knew.. its the promise of God.. coming.. i was super happy.. and.. was super hyper after service.. but tats not the end of it.. i was blessed and recharged ... and.. i knew tat.. God.. is doing wad he promise when.. i made tat small little choice.. inviting him.. and everyday.. i pray.. and worship him.. drawing myself closer to him.. :)..Woo... and now... i brought my cousin to CCH...and.. more have yet to come..Now everyweek.. i go for service.. and enjoyed the presence of God.. and be overwhelmed by his love.. this is my testi :).. Hope u guys like it... Labels: For more have yet to come. Saturday, October 31, 2009, 12:17 PM Woo.. today.. this sat.. is the best man!.. Haha.. i did my presentation.. and.. it went quite well.! I didn't freak out or anything haha!!... Well.. tats not the end of it.. i have to say tat... today. 31/10/09 is the best day i ever had.. This is even better den getting a girlfriend! haha.. Cause.. today... i reali felt the present of God.. during service!.. Just the the drum starts.. and the praise start.. A huge gust of happiness just chiong into mi.. Shiok man... Den i started smiling.. happy and praising God.. The feeling was... dk how to say... super good!... Haha... the more i sang.. the more i praise ... the greater it felt.. As i praise... i feel spiritually recharge.. till the max and over flow! Its a feeling tat i long for... and i finally came.. When i just did one small little thing... it came back... multiply... till idk how many times.. I was super happy.... I sang will all my might and thank Lord for wad he gave mi..! Service was great.. haha yea... Its too great tat words can't explain. Today... i feel reali blessed... Super.. First... to hear Pastor Lia preach.. haha Second... my mother gave mi 10$ for nothing haha.. ask mi go eat..<< randomness!. Third.. joanna blessed mi again! lolz.. i explain y and how. Four.. the present of God.. is just amazing.. I'M COMING BACK EVERY WEEK FOR IT!... Its like.. charging myself straight from the open cable! High voltage.. super overflow... Haha... ok.. now i shall explain... the finace blessing.. First... my mother gave mi 10 $ for tat day.. which.. actually.. i no 0 $ left for anything.. So.. i planned.. ok.. 5$ lunch.. 5$ offering.. steady set. Yea.. so.. i ate.. duck rice.. and 3.80.. so i have 1.20 left.. Den later i found one small 10 cent coin in my pocket.. So.. when i sat down with ryan at the kopitiam i empty all my pocket.. I had.. 6.30.. den.. So.. when i was going to give the offering.. Something hit mi.. since.. 1.30.. cannot buy anything.. other den apple pie from mac.. Y not i give 5.30 as offering?.. more! Den i was like.. good!! ok i GIVE!.. Den.. i had 1 $ left intending to eat apple pie.. Den.. chop chop.. cut cut cut... Joanna gave mi 1 more $ and ask mi to go nasi lemak 2$ at the MRT... So.. haha just because i gave 30 cent more!... i gain 1 $ From appple pie.. i get to eat rice!.. Haha.. i'm so blessed today.. and so fully recharged.. : ) Ok.. now.. is the things tat i prayed for!.. - Yolanda to be healthy!<< i finally rmbed.. :( - My test on friday! - To have wisdom and faith to speak at my ah ma house tomorrow!. Tats.. all!!.. this is the most powerful post ever... But.. i think i left out somethings.. because.. rushing.. to post so my pretty... joanna can read and slp! haaha : ).. Labels: Love God. Thursday, October 29, 2009, 11:00 AM Ok.. today.. is a super impactful day for mi! Super zai.. Today GOOD thing happen!.. haha... First.. i had my first prayer conference with Jingfen and Nic!. Haha..It was nice.. this is my first pray conference.. Thou..i still lack of faith to pray with ours aloud.. and get nervous.. I know with the Lord.. i shall not fear as my faith value is going to rise! Yea lord.. amen!.. Secondly.. i tok to my cousin for the past two days.. Haha.. somehow.. she is just like mi.. I share with her abt God.. hopefully she will come this sat.! Her name is WeiYun.. For people who read my blog.. Lets pray for her.. tat she will give herself a chances and come to church and get save.! Amen! Haleiluya!... Huat arh.. Thirdly.. haha... today is the second day i did my QT :/.. haha... Its never too late to start!.. It feels good anyway.. Well.. these are my good things tat happen!haha.. Now.. its my prayer list.. Writing down on my blog.. so i can see wad i pray.. And.. how am i growing in Christ! - Pray for my mother to let my cousin to come my house for stayover and i can bring her to church.! - Pray for my cousin,ShuQi tat her parent will allow her for her to come to my house and stayover and let mi bring her to CCH.. - Pray for my other cousin!WeiYun..tat she will understand wad i said to her.. and give herself the chance to encounter God. - Pray for my CG mates whom are going to take A lvls soon!.. Pray tat they will not fall sick.. at this important period of time!. - Pray for my aunts tat will understand what mi and my sister are doing in church.. - Pray for my whole big family.. tat i can slowly reach out to all my cousins one by one and get them save!... i have 25+ cousin : D..! - Pray for mi tat i will be able to grow more and more in God.. and understand.. grow more mature and learn to love others.! Tats all for today's prayer!... Amen! Labels: Love God Love life Love people Tuesday, October 13, 2009, 8:37 AM 나는 가는 시키지 않는을 위해 벙어리 i'm 알고 있다. 그러나… 나는 지금도 할 수 있지 않는다… 나가 볼 때마다 교회에 있는 u는… 생각한 우리가 최후를 한 무슨이라고를 저를.나는 우리가 최후를 함께 보낸 시간을 기억하지 않는 수가 없다. 그러나 지금, 우리는 함께 더 이상 없다. 그 나의 마음을 아프게핸다. 저를 남겨두골 결코 약속하지 않을 때.지금. 저 단단하게 말하고 있지 않다… 당신 말하는 것을 어쩌면 나가 시도해 것살이어야 하는. 그러나. 나가 그 후에 친구이골 싶을 때 친구로 당신 그것에게 단단한 정당한 말하기….나가 자기 전에, 매일. 나는 껴안기를 생각한다. 나의 곰을 기억하는가? … 그것은 당신 같이 아직도 냄새맡는다: ).Shi Pei 나가 그것을 살포해야 한ㄴ다는 것을 말한다. 이렇게 그것에는 더 이상 없다 냄새가…그러나. 나는에 드러내지 않는다. 그것이 유일한 것 저것나 당신에 가까운 저에게… I 사랑을 실제적으로 실제적으로 가져오기 때문에. 그리고 나는 떠나는 원하지 않는다….이 몇 일. 나는 당신에 대하여 생각 유지했다… 나가… 이렇게 나쁘게 껴안고 싶 결코 다시 가게 하는. 저로… 그러나 다시 돌아올 다는 것을 나가 바라는 방법 나는 그것의 불가능한 짐작한다.나가 알고 있는 매우소녀이지 않을지도 모른다. 그리고 이 세계… 그러나 나에서 다만 원하십시오. . 나는 예쁜 소녀의 거기 밖으로 제비가… 다는 것을 그러나 나가 다만… 원한ㄴ다는 것을 알고 있다.귀엽기, 섹시한, 최신 때문에 사랑해요, 호소,…와 말해서 나가 좋은 너무 많은 추가 이유 유혹.나는 실제적으로 사랑한다. 그리고 저에게 곧 돌아올 것이라는 점을 희망하십시오. : ). Tuesday, October 06, 2009, 10:34 AM Well.. today... i guess i'm happy... for one reason... And.. i realise... wads have been given to mi haven not been taken from mi... Its.. always in mi... onli tat... i have use it... for the rite purpose.. Haha... well.. hopefully i'll use it soon... To touch someone's life.. with the words of blessing... Today... its her bday.. haha.. 4 days ago.. i was thinking... How and what to do.. I was thinking.. to use another number to text her.. and.. act as someone else.. haha... I got plenty of number to play with.. lolz.. Well... took mi quite awhile to think of wad to send.. Ask some people for ideas.. haha... Ju ting... gave some.. but... -.-... Because.. of my stupid habit... i scared her away... tat she dun wan to tok to mi now.. Lolz.. i seriously must behave :/.. Well.. hopefully she will tok to mi someday... And.. i decide to message her with my own number.. Eileen said.. it will be more sincere.. Haha.. make sense... soo llala... did it... Well... didnt reali.. expected a reply.. But.. got one.. haha... Well.. its more then i wanted for... Thou.. there is somethings.. tat i want to ask and say... Haha.. its better not to ask for to much rite?.. People.. give one inch.. dun need take one foot.. Lolz.. people will angry de wad!.. Haha... So.. i guess tat question will still be in my heart.. w8ing for a day which i can ask her.. And find out the reason.. Well.. even without knowing the reason.. as long.. ................. will be good enough.. Haha... Its a good thing.. : )... Sad... i scared away... 3 gurls.. just because.. i didn't behave.. zzz Dun like tat lei.. -.- play onli... Not first day know mi rite... Need to become like.. tat... Haiz... lalal.. Looking forward for tat day to come... Haha.. Today... i met some sec school friends.. On the bus... i saw esther... lolz.. Den... becuase i went to top up ezlink card... Misseed a train.. den later at Je.. saw Eileen on the train.. HAha... so qiao... happy day i guess.. : ). Wednesday, September 30, 2009, 10:04 AM I have been lost... I Now.. i'm lost again... I dun know wad to do... Or should i say.. idk wad to choose... Forever.. i have the authority to choose... But.. i wish dun have... so it will not result to wad i'm thinking now.. In my mind everyday.. is wad i should do... but.. in my action.. is not wad i should not do.. 'M Thou i know wads rite and wads wrong... i keep doing the wrong things... Sometimes... u wan to take both choices.. but u onli can have one... Here comes the ding dong ting... swinging left and right. <><><><>< Thinking of wad to do... I'm dried... I'm tired.. I'm at the edge... When.. there is onli one thing i need to do to be strong back to where i need to mi.. But... it takes alot for mi to it.. Like wad the doctor told mi .... The light is always behind.. shinning behind u... just w8ing for u to turn back and follow it.. S This turn... seem so ezy... yet so hard.. I should be turning... but i'm not... So many thing happen this month... Just feel like throwing the white flag.. and say.. i quit.. I'm done for it.. I give up... Why is it tat my biggest strength, is always my weakness.. P Such an irony.. In my mind... its going crazy... up and down...left and right.. wrong and correct... Thinking.. of things..tat will nv happen in life... And now... at the edge of acting my thinking out... Seriously.. i wonder wads wrong with mi... I Am i mentally insane?.. Split personality? I wish someone can tell mi... My game is also up.. Its reali mi to turn everything back up again... R I made two promises... The first.. promises.. i made... but.. now i'm thinking would i rather break a promise.. Or keep it without its purpose. I swore last time.. nv to break a promise.. And nv tok make a promise i know i'm going to break... T Now... idk wad to do.... I take either choice i still lose... Its either i fight the losing battle till i win.. or choose to lose without fighting.. If i choose the first... i need strength.. and support... but... i can nv get them... I many get strength.. but i will nv get support... U Its in my life... lived with it till now... ever since primary school.. From young.. i had nv have a friend tat i can call friend.. Best friend?.. i wish i had one.. Maybe... its becuase of my games.. A I played so much tat i dun go out of my house to the outside world?. How can u call a friend tat u helped when he needs help and when u get bully yet he didn't stand by u... yet join in the fun and bully u... Wad kinda of friend is this?.. L Sitting in the classroom.. as a outclass... When no one talks to u.. and onli tok to u when they have no choice?. A group of people whom u wanted to call friends who went out together and didnt called u.. A group of people.. whom u wanted to call friend.. onli calls u at the last min as a spare tire?.. It reali made mi hard to call them friends.. L From young till now... Come on.. give mi a break... When is it tat i will get someone ... whom i reali reali can call a friend?. Without... friends tat i can call ... and not leaving mi out... Y I stray to find something else... girlfriend... Thou... sometimes.. i'm quite picky.. I stay with wad i get... even when i know.. i can get better.. Its not reali abt.. better or ok... Wad matters is... whether u like it or not... So... when i got one... it brightens mi alot... yea it does.. When i got one.. it made mi feel so happy.. Just like.. i'm no longer rejected..no long an outcast... Forever someone to tok to... Its as if... i used her to feel accepted... But.. when she left... it brings everthing back... What i hate the most... are these things.. Tats y my greatest fear is loneliness... When ever i get to know a new friend... we tend to get along.. But... after awhile.. we start to move away from each other.. Everyone have their on clique... Everytime... when there is a clique.. Its either i can't enter.. or be left out... Or.. the clique.. is not wad i wanted.. Left alone wandering for someone whom i reali can call friends.. So many problem... so little time... yet too lazy to do anything abt it.. Watching my family falling apart... A family not like family.. A family without bonding... with big gaps to fill up... Letting history repeating itself.. Knowing history is going to repeat itself.. Yet.. idk where to stop it... Where to put back the missing pieces in the family... D Missed the bonding we had last time... Church pulled my sister away from home.. But... to my sister its God's calling.. There is nothing much i can do... Sometimes.. i blame God.. for wad is happening... Sometimes.. i know tat there is a reason... Even if my sister.. have followed the wrong direction.. She is going to know.. and make a U turn and fix everything.. The problem is when... Or its going to go on?.. E Hearing my mother complainning tat my sister always come back home late and spending too much time in church... wasting time there.. She dun understand its becuase.. she nv encountered Christ be4... I had.. but.. mi myself sometimes too thinks tat she is spending too much time in church... My sister always ask mi to help her... Tok to mum.. one day she will understand.. get her save.. But... its seems as if she is making it hard for her to get save... Or is it part of the plan for it to happen?.. Maybe one day.. my mother got so pissed tat she can't take it anymore.. And she went down to church to find out wad is she doing there.. Later to know.. she brought herself to church and got saved..?. Life is so unpredictable... I wish i can predict... but.. When u know how to predict... Its a different ball game... U have other things to trouble about.. A There is nv a free lunch on earth... Emm.. actually there is.. go to the temple ... and u can get some... But.. are u going to the temple to get free lunch everyday?.. U are just running away from wad is in front of u.. Or do u call it.. the other way of life?. Life life life?.. this is it uh?. In so much shit tat i myself... feels tat... i'm hopeless.. Not long ago.. i was still thinking... I can get it fix.. with the help of her coming back... Lolz.. native ... Now.. even if she comes back.. I dun think.. its going to help.... D Is it becuase.. i've already gave up ?.. Or at the edge.. going to drop down anytime?.. tat with her coming back will not help at all.?. Had nothing in my mind tat i can think of... Either let time do it job.. Or let my thoughts take over mi.. Labels: Look for caps yr luck to find them		thedeceptionist Vanity isn't a sin, a little narcissm wouldn't hurt. Novel Chew Li Kian 18 November 1992 hichewy@hotmail.com a hot lover of Christ		partnersincrime A Aerina B Belle C Cheeyong G Grab R Ranford Rebecca Regina S Seeyin J Jasmine Joey Jasmine X XiaoYing XiaoTing wheni'mgone + May 2007 + June 2007 + July 2007 + August 2007 + September 2007 + October 2007 + November 2007 + December 2007 + January 2008 + March 2008 + April 2008 + May 2008 + June 2008 + July 2008 + August 2008 + September 2008 + October 2008 + November 2008 + December 2008 + January 2009 + February 2009 + March 2009 + June 2009 + July 2009 + August 2009 + September 2009 + October 2009 + November 2009 takeabow An accidentality production Inspiration from DancingSheep & BONBON:D		theventingmachine