Novel

2010-03-15T09:15:00.000-07:00

Back.. to blogging!..
Hehe.. Sat morning.. was dam bad..
Took my Adv management exam and it was really bad..
But..Hehe my mother got mi a ipod!..
So happy. Wee... actually i forgot wad to blog.. on sat.. so did i 4gt wad to blog on sun...
Haha...
Sunday.. when we were sending our leaders off...
Lolz.. shinee came.. and we saw the fan chasing them.. Lso funny...
Den all the church people pretended to scream and run after them!.
But.. hehe... they are nv more important then our leaders!
Leaders number 2 they also can't reach number 1! hehe.! haha
After sending of my leaders.. we miss the last train..
Awww : (..
To add on.. My Ipod hanged... and i onli got it for like 1 days..
Haha... and my rib hurts!..
Dk y.. but it hurts.. : (...
Haha... monday!...
Monday is a super super super long day!..
Left home at 9.. reach home at 11pm..
Dam sian!..
My new lectuter is so cute!
Haha.. funny teacher : D...
End of post.. tired.. >3..

2010-03-11T22:19:00.000-08:00

Eyo...
Went to CG ytd..
Starting to hate the train...
During peak hours there is always no sit...
And i always needa stand...
I fell asleep while standing on the way to bugis lolz..
Rahh.. was like a sotong when i woke and.. and made my way to school.!
Cool uh?.. CG at school..
Haha.. After CG...Dinner time!..when to eat Mos burger for the first time..
:/. Then when to watch Alice in the wonderland..
3D glass.. makes mi dizzy!..
Lolz..
The show itself was kinda boring.. almost fell asleep :/.
After the show.. we were rushing for the last train!..
Haha.. lucky i got last train...
I was so tired.. tat.. once i got home.. i Koed.. on the bed..!
Haha.. tats the end of yesterday!..
Blog half way and i went to slp -.-...

2010-03-10T06:10:00.000-08:00

Yea man!.. hehe.. blog abit..
My John is back!!.Finally...
Miss him sooo soo much man!
Lolz..Yea man.. can't w8 to see him this sat!
Haha today is happy day!...
I brought Ice cream for my mother and she was so happy like a baby!..
Hehe.. and... Lolz...
This might sound a little childish but, lolz..!..
My leader talk to mi haha!..
Lolz.. Its been awhile since we chat! lolz...
Her email was in my Gmail account.. and everytime i type a email.. i see a werid name there and i always wonder who is tat..
Tried finding on facebook and msn.. and i have no idea.. tat who is tat person!.
Suddenly today she talk to mi.. and i was like.. who are u..
She replied.. i'm Jieru.. den i was waa...
For so long.. idk tat person is my leader lolz..
And still wonder who is she!..
Haha.. but today finally... know le!..
Add on!...ytd.. i saw two of my juniors!
Cool man.. and catch up with them alittle bit.. shiok man!..
How i wish i can be much more closer with each other!
Tat will be so cool man...
Most of all.. i finally found the show i was looking for.. which i watched it in primary school!
Being ages.. when i wan to watch it again!
Cool man..!
End of post!.. :D.. updated as requested by Saukuen!..: )..

2009-12-24T10:55:00.000-08:00

Wow... its great back to serve again!.
Yea amen!...
Aww.. sad i'm still not back into usher again.. but haha!... i helped out at x-rave..
Yay..! it was fun.. strong and sharp!.
Yep yep..
Shan Yong said..
Lets all have the heart and not just do it on events but everyday,everywhere anytime!
Lets all be always there when ever the church needs us!
Lets all not treat everything just like an event.. its not just a event.. its a tool for us to help us get more salvation!.
Yea... actually.. i wan to thank Shan yong.. he actually have been a very good leader when i was in usher.. yea.. he taught mi alot of things tat i should look out it.
Yea..
Taught mi to be alert.. and look at leaders from time to time to check whether they are signaling u anything of need anything from u.
And its the small things tat matters!.. haha.. okay... yep yep
Thank u Shan yong..
Okay.. back back.. yep
Good to serve.. yea!..
I brought new friends yipee!..
Firstly.. i fulfill Jieru's challenge.. but!, we should not just fulfill.. but.. BREAKTHROUGH!.
Yea... PUSH man.!
Okay.. haha... this is the part tat i wan to say..
Lets all be sad for those who didn't came,
Lets all be sad for those who are not save,
Lets all be sad for those who backed out last min,
Lets all be sad for those who came and did not accept Christ,
Lets all be sad for those who failed to invite a friend.
BUT,
Lets all be glad tat they are going to come one day,
Lets all be glad tat they will be saved,
Lets all be glad tat they will not back out last min next time,
Lets all be glad tat they will accept Christ the one day,
Lets all be glad tat everyone in church is going to breakthrough and bring not just a friend,
but truck loads!
Amen!
People..!!.. lets all just PUSH..
Yep.. u guys notice i say alot of lets all?.
Okay... y arh.. its because.. we can't do this alone!,
We need to be there, as friends,as connect group,as leaders for everyone...
And most importantly... we must trust God,without him..its impossible,with him.. wads not impossible?
U TELL MI!..

2009-12-13T10:15:00.000-08:00

Hey peeps..
I'm back.. after along while..
I'm sorry.. sometimes.. i'm just too lazy to update about what is happening in my life..
Haha...
Okay.. what so cool that happen today was...
I cooked for a lot of people in the BBQ haha...
Yea man lolz..
Real man cooks... Amen!
And the even greater thing is that i cooked for my leaders haha!
It is great that i still have my servant hood heart.. :D:D...
So cool about it.. haha..
I set the wor on fire wahaha...
Dam fun lolz.. so cool la..
Its a heng thing that i didn't burn down the whole kitchen...
Yea man.. so proud of mi today...
My sister actually asked mi to join hospi..
So i can cook and serve my leaders in church.. but i'm just too lazy..
And today .... heng heng got the chance to cook for my leaders lolz!
Yea.. such a achievement Yea..
So.. i'm tired.. but happy for what i have done today..
Haha.. and some other personal thing that happened today which made mi veri happy..
: )...
Okay... tats all.. hopefully u will get to see the video abt wad i did in the kitchen in facebook haha!!

2009-11-24T08:16:00.000-08:00

Weee.. finally.. get my hands on blog again.. haha..
Life have been interesting and fun..
And its getting more and more impactful..
I made my choice to commit to Christ and believe in him.!
I started my follow up.. and now.. i know how to share John 3:16..
I always want to know what is it about and want to know how to share to others.!
Thanks to PeiJun.. now i know how!.
Yea.. my life is changing.. and more have yet to come.
Now tat i have Christ in mi, i can see God's plan for mi..
I hear him speak to mi..
And.. now.. i'm starting to do the work of his..
I got my cousin ShuQi.. to children church.. 3 weeks back..
She is coming back for three weeks after i brought her!
WOW! Amen!
Its so cool.
Dou my mother reali dislike the idea of it..
Which resulted mi to pray more about it..
One nite.. (Everyone... open your eyes.. be ready for this..)
My mother.. told mi she dreamt about Jesus.
Wow!.. I bet all of u are jealous tat she dreamt about Jesus and u didn't..
Haha!!
Even i'm jealous haha!.
Yea.. I asked her.. how she know He is Jesus?.
She replied... oh.. His hair.. beard..
Wow ahah!! Cool uh?.
Then i asked her.. wad did He told u ?.
She said.. oh.. He told mi alot of things.. but i forgot..
I onli rmbed.. He told mi not to worry about u.. because u know wad u are doing and u have a plan.
And ask her to let mi go and trust in mi.
How many people of u wan to say a amen for tat?!
Haha.. Yea.. it was cool..
Now i start to see God's plan for mi.. as i grow more into him..
He have shown his promises and have done them... ever since tat day i made the choice to commit myself to him!.
Now.. i have a vision.. a aim and a destiny. Amen!..
I'm no longer aimless slacking around.. waking up everyday without knowing where i'm heading in life..
But now i know...
I'm going to bring my whole clan to Christ.!..
I know.. this is not going to be easy.. but.. i have Christ in mi.
And nothing shall stand in front of mi from doing it..
I'm going to learn and start leading people..
Going to become a CGL..
Last time.. i thought of becoming a CGL... den.. i looked at my "pattern" and said..
Lolz.. mi ?.. Kai wan siao.. impossible..
Guess wad?!
Now.. CGL??..
Emm.. Steady.. lets go!.. chiong arh!.
Haha..
Its cool tat.. God told mi.. if u wan to become a CGL..
Its not impossible..
But he wans mi to do one thing..
Grow mentally,change my actions,my behavior..
Then he gave mi a reason why should i do it..
Taking as an example.. if i'm a CGL with my pattern now... which is so childish T.T.
New friends tat come to church.. and they talk to mi.. and see tat i'm so childish..
They will not dare to shall their problems..
They will think tat i'm not mature enough to handle their problems..
And.. souls will be lost because of this..
So.. i told myself.. i shall be mature in my mind..
Souls will not going to be lost because of my negligence.Amen!
Yep..
Novel is going to have a break through in his life.!
His whole clan is going to be save..
How many of u can imagine.. i have 5 family members in CCH.
3 in Zone F... and 20+ aunts and cousin attending main service..
Lolz.. its going to be as if my family open the church :/.
Haha!!! tat day will come..
Yea.. let us all have faith in each other tat we are able to do great things with Christ in us.
No one is going to be emo!..
Let the emo say they are happy..
Quote from

Joel 3:10

¹⁰ Beat your plowshares into swords
and your pruning hooks into spears.
Let the weakling say,
"I am strong!
Yea man..
Haha... how i love to praise God.. and sing praises to him.. and see the mircales in my life..
My cousin XiaoWei,XiaoYing.. was shock tat i would bring Shuqi to church.
Then i told about how cool my church was and gave her our church web site for her to see.
And she say my church is cool!
She might be coming with her sister this weekend!
Amen.. will the power of the holy spirit helping she will come.!
Yea... haha... i think tats all tat have been happening to mi this few weeks..
More great things is going to come!.. stay tune.. haha!..

2009-11-07T11:41:00.001-08:00

I want to share my testi.. so.. this is it!
I came to church when i was sec3.. i was invited by my sister.. yea.. for the first time in service.. i dun reali know.. what i felt.. but... i came back almost everyweek for service..I had some small changes in my life..but.. they are not big.. i have problems here and there... i dun pray.. i dun do QT.. i just go to church.. spent time... waste time..yea.. thou i was in church.. there is still somethings tat i long for.. i had not reali invited Chirst into mi.. and i just day by day... say i'll Qt.. but ending up i didn't.. Yea.. tat.. happened for awhile.. and nothing change.. i was thinking tat.. kk i go to church.. if i die.. i'm going to heaven.. its good already... but.. later as i walk down more in church.. i realise.. tats not wad God reali wan mi to do.. So..after my N lvls.. i didnt do well.. and can't make it back for sec5.. i was quite depressed.. and gave up on myself.. blaming myself for everything.. then.. i soon started to back slide... i stop serving.. i was taken out of usher..but.. thanks to the friends who were there.. ShiPei and John.. who is always trying to talk to mi.. asking mi to come back to church.. So.. it was RedRain.... i ask ShiPei.. to come and fetch mi.. and she did.. so i went for Red Rain.. on tat tat.. i met a new gurl... which.. came when i was didnt come in church... she caught my eye.. and.. i tried to get to know her.. and soon.. we kinda got together.. but.. i didn't wan people to think tat.. i onli come to church because of her.. so.. i tried to prove it to people.. who i think tat might have tat thought in mind..after tat.. mi and her got along quite long.. and i was attending church every week.. but.. my relation with God.. is onli..... like tat.. veri distant.. one day.. tat gurl left mi... i got quite depress... cause i thought tat she was the last i will have.. so.. i threw myself to God.. doing small prayers.. when i'm super super down.. and praising him and worshiping just to take away the pain tat i had in my heart... soon.. after awhile.. my emtion.. was better.. but.. i still hunger for her... and.. i stop praying... this when on for like 5 month.. i was still .... emoing... always thinking abt her.. so.. during october... i started going alittle " crazy".. i was hearing alot of voices in my head.. i was unsure abt myself.. i heard.. the right thing to do.. and i heard what is the wrong thing to do.. and i heard myself .... ingore or this.. you are who u are.. just be content.. then.. these thought reali keep going in and out of my mind.. tat idk wad to do.. tat i asked Val and JingFen what is happen to mi.. and what i should do.. and Jingfen.. ask mi to pray.. and tok to the leaders...I didnt reali tok to my leader.. because i was ashamed of wad happen..During one serivce.. Pst kong.. preach about what to do.. when u dun know.. wad to do.. So.. during the october period... there was Cg.. and i decided to go.. and.. JieRu prayed for mi.. welcoming mi back to the CG.. coming back to God.. but.. i wasn't reali back..then.. i rmbed one service.. veri clearly.. as the service start.. a question hit mi... When are u really coming back to mi?.. i was stun when i heard this question in my mind.. i was wondering.. was wrong.. y got this question.. as the service goes on.. i began to understand the question.. and knew tat it was God asking mi.. I was always in church.. always there.. but.. spiritually.. i was veri far away from him.. God asked mi when i'm reali coming back to him.. he not onli wanted my heart.. but he wan my everything.. to go to him.. then.. i began to hear tat... i can do great things with him in mi.. and all i need to do.. is to invited him into my life.. and trust him.. and have faith.. pray.. and build a relationship.. with him.. sliding back to him.. so.. i told jingfen about.. what i heard.. and the next thing i knew.. i went for Cg... and Jieru prayed for mi.. again.. I felt so blessed.. lolz.. i went to two CG.. and got prayed for for both CGs... that day.. i made a decision.. tat.. i will come into God... slide back into him.. and nothing is doing to stand in front of mi to block mi from growing more into Chirst.. for its in mi.. from tat day on.. i start doing my QT.. start praying.. i pray when ever i'm free.. on the train.. going to school.. and.. everytime.. i done it.. i felt so recharged.. and ready to fight the spiritual war.. but.. tats not the end of it.. as i had reali long for the presence of God.. on the service on 31 october.. once the service started.. i felt.. a gust of happiness going into mi.. and all my fears gone away... nothing but happyniess.. on the spot i knew.. its the promise of God.. coming.. i was super happy.. and.. was super hyper after service.. but tats not the end of it.. i was blessed and recharged ... and.. i knew tat.. God.. is doing wad he promise when.. i made tat small little choice.. inviting him.. and everyday.. i pray.. and worship him.. drawing myself closer to him.. :)..Woo... and now... i brought my cousin to CCH...and.. more have yet to come..Now everyweek.. i go for service.. and enjoyed the presence of God.. and be overwhelmed by his love.. this is my testi :)..
Hope u guys like it...

2009-10-31T12:17:00.000-07:00

Woo.. today.. this sat.. is the best man!..
Haha.. i did my presentation.. and.. it went quite well.!
I didn't freak out or anything haha!!...
Well.. tats not the end of it.. i have to say tat... today. 31/10/09 is the best day i ever had..
This is even better den getting a girlfriend! haha..
Cause.. today... i reali felt the present of God.. during service!..
Just the the drum starts.. and the praise start..
A huge gust of happiness just chiong into mi..
Shiok man...
Den i started smiling.. happy and praising God..
The feeling was... dk how to say... super good!...
Haha... the more i sang.. the more i praise ... the greater it felt..
As i praise... i feel spiritually recharge.. till the max and over flow!
Its a feeling tat i long for... and i finally came..
When i just did one small little thing... it came back... multiply... till idk how many times..
I was super happy....
I sang will all my might and thank Lord for wad he gave mi..!
Service was great.. haha yea...
Its too great tat words can't explain.
Today... i feel reali blessed...
Super..
First... to hear Pastor Lia preach.. haha
Second... my mother gave mi 10$ for nothing haha.. ask mi go eat..<< randomness!. Third.. joanna blessed mi again! lolz.. i explain y and how. Four.. the present of God.. is just amazing.. I'M COMING BACK EVERY WEEK FOR IT!... Its like.. charging myself straight from the open cable! High voltage.. super overflow... Haha... ok.. now i shall explain... the finace blessing.. First... my mother gave mi 10 $ for tat day.. which.. actually.. i no 0 $ left for anything.. So.. i planned.. ok.. 5$ lunch.. 5$ offering.. steady set. Yea.. so.. i ate.. duck rice.. and 3.80.. so i have 1.20 left.. Den later i found one small 10 cent coin in my pocket.. So.. when i sat down with ryan at the kopitiam i empty all my pocket.. I had.. 6.30.. den.. So.. when i was going to give the offering.. Something hit mi.. since.. 1.30.. cannot buy anything.. other den apple pie from mac.. Y not i give 5.30 as offering?.. more! Den i was like.. good!! ok i GIVE!.. Den.. i had 1 $ left intending to eat apple pie.. Den.. chop chop.. cut cut cut... Joanna gave mi 1 more $ and ask mi to go nasi lemak 2$ at the MRT... So.. haha just because i gave 30 cent more!... i gain 1 $ From appple pie.. i get to eat rice!.. Haha.. i'm so blessed today.. and so fully recharged.. : )
Ok.. now.. is the things tat i prayed for!..
- Yolanda to be healthy!<< i finally rmbed.. :(
- My test on friday!
- To have wisdom and faith to speak at my ah ma house tomorrow!.
Tats.. all!!.. this is the most powerful post ever...
But.. i think i left out somethings.. because.. rushing.. to post so my pretty... joanna can read and slp! haaha : )..

2009-10-29T11:00:00.000-07:00

Ok.. today.. is a super impactful day for mi!
Super zai..
Today GOOD thing happen!.. haha...
First.. i had my first prayer conference with Jingfen and Nic!.
Haha..It was nice.. this is my first pray conference..
Thou..i still lack of faith to pray with ours aloud.. and get nervous..
I know with the Lord.. i shall not fear as my faith value is going to rise!
Yea lord.. amen!..
Secondly.. i tok to my cousin for the past two days..
Haha.. somehow.. she is just like mi..
I share with her abt God.. hopefully she will come this sat.!
Her name is WeiYun..
For people who read my blog..
Lets pray for her.. tat she will give herself a chances and come to church and get save.!
Amen!
Haleiluya!...
Huat arh..
Thirdly.. haha... today is the second day i did my QT :/.. haha...
Its never too late to start!..
It feels good anyway..
Well.. these are my good things tat happen!haha..
Now.. its my prayer list..
Writing down on my blog.. so i can see wad i pray..
And.. how am i growing in Christ!
- Pray for my mother to let my cousin to come my house for stayover and i can bring her to church.!
- Pray for my cousin,ShuQi tat her parent will allow her for her to come to my house and stayover and let mi bring her to CCH..
- Pray for my other cousin!WeiYun..tat she will understand wad i said to her.. and give herself the chance to encounter God.
- Pray for my CG mates whom are going to take A lvls soon!.. Pray tat they will not fall sick.. at this important period of time!.
- Pray for my aunts tat will understand what mi and my sister are doing in church..
- Pray for my whole big family.. tat i can slowly reach out to all my cousins one by one and get them save!... i have 25+ cousin : D..!
- Pray for mi tat i will be able to grow more and more in God.. and understand.. grow more mature and learn to love others.!
Tats all for today's prayer!...
Amen!

2009-10-13T08:37:00.000-07:00

나는 가는 시키지 않는을 위해 벙어리 i'm 알고 있다. 그러나… 나는 지금도 할 수 있지 않는다… 나가 볼 때마다 교회에 있는 u는… 생각한 우리가 최후를 한 무슨이라고를 저를.나는 우리가 최후를 함께 보낸 시간을 기억하지 않는 수가 없다. 그러나 지금, 우리는 함께 더 이상 없다. 그 나의 마음을 아프게핸다. 저를 남겨두골 결코 약속하지 않을 때.지금. 저 단단하게 말하고 있지 않다… 당신 말하는 것을 어쩌면 나가 시도해 것살이어야 하는. 그러나. 나가 그 후에 친구이골 싶을 때 친구로 당신 그것에게 단단한 정당한 말하기….나가 자기 전에, 매일. 나는 껴안기를 생각한다. 나의 곰을 기억하는가? … 그것은 당신 같이 아직도 냄새맡는다: ).Shi Pei 나가 그것을 살포해야 한ㄴ다는 것을 말한다. 이렇게 그것에는 더 이상 없다 냄새가…그러나. 나는에 드러내지 않는다. 그것이 유일한 것 저것나 당신에 가까운 저에게… I 사랑을 실제적으로 실제적으로 가져오기 때문에. 그리고 나는 떠나는 원하지 않는다….이 몇 일. 나는 당신에 대하여 생각 유지했다… 나가… 이렇게 나쁘게 껴안고 싶 결코 다시 가게 하는. 저로… 그러나 다시 돌아올 다는 것을 나가 바라는 방법 나는 그것의 불가능한 짐작한다.나가 알고 있는 매우소녀이지 않을지도 모른다. 그리고 이 세계… 그러나 나에서 다만 원하십시오. . 나는 예쁜 소녀의 거기 밖으로 제비가… 다는 것을 그러나 나가 다만… 원한ㄴ다는 것을 알고 있다.귀엽기, 섹시한, 최신 때문에 사랑해요, 호소,…와 말해서 나가 좋은 너무 많은 추가 이유 유혹.나는 실제적으로 사랑한다. 그리고 저에게 곧 돌아올 것이라는 점을 희망하십시오. : ).

2009-10-06T10:34:00.000-07:00

Well.. today... i guess i'm happy... for one reason...
And.. i realise... wads have been given to mi haven not been taken from mi...
Its.. always in mi... onli tat... i have use it... for the rite purpose..
Haha... well.. hopefully i'll use it soon...
To touch someone's life.. with the words of blessing...
Today... its her bday.. haha.. 4 days ago.. i was thinking...
How and what to do..
I was thinking.. to use another number to text her.. and.. act as someone else.. haha...
I got plenty of number to play with.. lolz..
Well... took mi quite awhile to think of wad to send..
Ask some people for ideas.. haha...
Ju ting... gave some.. but... -.-...
Because.. of my stupid habit... i scared her away... tat she dun wan to tok to mi now..
Lolz.. i seriously must behave :/..
Well.. hopefully she will tok to mi someday...
And.. i decide to message her with my own number..
Eileen said.. it will be more sincere..
Haha.. make sense... soo llala... did it...
Well... didnt reali.. expected a reply..
But.. got one.. haha...
Well.. its more then i wanted for...
Thou.. there is somethings.. tat i want to ask and say...
Haha.. its better not to ask for to much rite?..
People.. give one inch.. dun need take one foot..
Lolz.. people will angry de wad!..
Haha...
So.. i guess tat question will still be in my heart.. w8ing for a day which i can ask her..
And find out the reason..
Well.. even without knowing the reason.. as long.. ................. will be good enough..
Haha...
Its a good thing.. : )...
Sad... i scared away... 3 gurls.. just because.. i didn't behave.. zzz
Dun like tat lei.. -.- play onli...
Not first day know mi rite...
Need to become like.. tat...
Haiz... lalal..
Looking forward for tat day to come...
Haha..
Today... i met some sec school friends..
On the bus... i saw esther... lolz..
Den... becuase i went to top up ezlink card...
Misseed a train.. den later at Je.. saw Eileen on the train..
HAha... so qiao... happy day i guess.. : ).

2009-09-30T10:04:00.001-07:00

I have been lost... I
Now.. i'm lost again...
I dun know wad to do...
Or should i say.. idk wad to choose...
Forever.. i have the authority to choose...
But.. i wish dun have... so it will not result to wad i'm thinking now..
In my mind everyday.. is wad i should do... but.. in my action.. is not wad i should not do.. 'M
Thou i know wads rite and wads wrong... i keep doing the wrong things...
Sometimes... u wan to take both choices.. but u onli can have one...
Here comes the ding dong ting... swinging left and right. <><><><><
Thinking of wad to do...
I'm dried...
I'm tired..
I'm at the edge...
When.. there is onli one thing i need to do to be strong back to where i need to mi..
But... it takes alot for mi to it..
Like wad the doctor told mi ....
The light is always behind.. shinning behind u... just w8ing for u to turn back and follow it.. S
This turn... seem so ezy... yet so hard..
I should be turning... but i'm not...
So many thing happen this month...
Just feel like throwing the white flag.. and say.. i quit..
I'm done for it..
I give up...
Why is it tat my biggest strength, is always my weakness.. P
Such an irony..
In my mind... its going crazy... up and down...left and right.. wrong and correct...
Thinking.. of things..tat will nv happen in life...
And now... at the edge of acting my thinking out...
Seriously.. i wonder wads wrong with mi... I
Am i mentally insane?..
Split personality?
I wish someone can tell mi...
My game is also up..
Its reali mi to turn everything back up again... R
I made two promises...
The first.. promises.. i made... but.. now i'm thinking would i rather break a promise..
Or keep it without its purpose.
I swore last time.. nv to break a promise..
And nv tok make a promise i know i'm going to break... T
Now... idk wad to do....
I take either choice i still lose...
Its either i fight the losing battle till i win.. or choose to lose without fighting..
If i choose the first... i need strength.. and support... but... i can nv get them...
I many get strength.. but i will nv get support... U
Its in my life... lived with it till now... ever since primary school..
From young.. i had nv have a friend tat i can call friend..
Best friend?.. i wish i had one..
Maybe... its becuase of my games.. A
I played so much tat i dun go out of my house to the outside world?.
How can u call a friend tat u helped when he needs help and when u get bully yet he didn't stand by u... yet join in the fun and bully u...
Wad kinda of friend is this?.. L
Sitting in the classroom.. as a outclass...
When no one talks to u.. and onli tok to u when they have no choice?.
A group of people whom u wanted to call friends who went out together and didnt called u..
A group of people.. whom u wanted to call friend.. onli calls u at the last min as a spare tire?..
It reali made mi hard to call them friends.. L
From young till now...
Come on.. give mi a break...
When is it tat i will get someone ... whom i reali reali can call a friend?.
Without... friends tat i can call ... and not leaving mi out... Y
I stray to find something else... girlfriend...
Thou... sometimes.. i'm quite picky..
I stay with wad i get... even when i know.. i can get better..
Its not reali abt.. better or ok...
Wad matters is... whether u like it or not...
So... when i got one... it brightens mi alot... yea it does..
When i got one.. it made mi feel so happy..
Just like.. i'm no longer rejected..no long an outcast...
Forever someone to tok to...
Its as if... i used her to feel accepted...
But.. when she left... it brings everthing back...
What i hate the most... are these things..
Tats y my greatest fear is loneliness...
When ever i get to know a new friend... we tend to get along..
But... after awhile.. we start to move away from each other..
Everyone have their on clique...
Everytime... when there is a clique..
Its either i can't enter.. or be left out...
Or.. the clique.. is not wad i wanted..
Left alone wandering for someone whom i reali can call friends..
So many problem... so little time... yet too lazy to do anything abt it..
Watching my family falling apart...
A family not like family..
A family without bonding... with big gaps to fill up...
Letting history repeating itself..
Knowing history is going to repeat itself..
Yet.. idk where to stop it...
Where to put back the missing pieces in the family... D
Missed the bonding we had last time...
Church pulled my sister away from home..
But... to my sister its God's calling..
There is nothing much i can do...
Sometimes.. i blame God.. for wad is happening...
Sometimes.. i know tat there is a reason...
Even if my sister.. have followed the wrong direction..
She is going to know.. and make a U turn and fix everything..
The problem is when...
Or its going to go on?.. E
Hearing my mother complainning tat my sister always come back home late and spending too much time in church... wasting time there..
She dun understand its becuase.. she nv encountered Christ be4...
I had.. but.. mi myself sometimes too thinks tat she is spending too much time in church...
My sister always ask mi to help her...
Tok to mum.. one day she will understand.. get her save..
But... its seems as if she is making it hard for her to get save...
Or is it part of the plan for it to happen?..
Maybe one day.. my mother got so pissed tat she can't take it anymore..
And she went down to church to find out wad is she doing there..
Later to know.. she brought herself to church and got saved..?.
Life is so unpredictable...
I wish i can predict... but..
When u know how to predict...
Its a different ball game...
U have other things to trouble about.. A
There is nv a free lunch on earth...
Emm.. actually there is.. go to the temple ... and u can get some...
But.. are u going to the temple to get free lunch everyday?..
U are just running away from wad is in front of u..
Or do u call it.. the other way of life?.
Life life life?.. this is it uh?.
In so much shit tat i myself... feels tat... i'm hopeless..
Not long ago.. i was still thinking...
I can get it fix.. with the help of her coming back...
Lolz.. native ...
Now.. even if she comes back..
I dun think.. its going to help.... D
Is it becuase.. i've already gave up ?..
Or at the edge.. going to drop down anytime?.. tat with her coming back will not help at all.?.
Had nothing in my mind tat i can think of...
Either let time do it job..
Or let my thoughts take over mi..

2009-09-09T08:18:00.001-07:00

2009-09-01T08:51:00.000-07:00

Haven blog... for... a few days.
Sunday... i rotted at home.. watching some.. movies...
Den... when to the bidding thing...
My father... as always... bid.. tat loaf of bread every year everytime.
Without fail.. haha... tat was .. 4k... gone...
I got nothing much to say...
Last year... i was angry...
This year... all i wan.. is for him to be happy..
Tat will do the job :)..
As long as he is happy.. its ok with mi...
And... tats also ... for her...
As long as she like it, she is happy... i'll be happy for her : )..
Though... its painful for mi sometimes...
But.. it will be over soon hopefully.. : )
Yep yep...
And.... Monday.. haha..
The whole day.. i was a movie addict.
I watched zombie.. movies for the whole day!!
Lolz... lalala....
Today... i was... trying my best to watch some movie...
Cause... i dun wan to think abt some things...
But... i gave in : (...
And i watched it...
I rmbed every single thing..
From the start till the begin...
Everything.... the first time...
Haha...
Lalalal.. crappy... and... today... school started
Yea... quite boring.. fell aslp ><
Haha.... alot did as well!?!?!?!
Bo bian... but... i'll study hard : ).
Loves.. tats all.. : )

2009-08-29T10:11:00.000-07:00

I hate myself...
I reali do...
Failing again.... feeling the same thing....
Today... during service... i had a lot of thoughts...feelings... and........
I felt the happiness my sister had... when i got saved...
Den... i hunger to get the feeling of someone close to mi saved.
I was... happy... but... i was sad...
I blame myself for not praying hard enough...
Not trying hard enough to get my cousin to come...
Not toking to her more...
I wan to let the whole know... how my church is like...
But.... i'm always pulled down...
Today... was a veri good chance... to show my cousin...
Tat my church is such a nice place.. to be in...
Sadly... she simply dun wan to come..
If i have done more... she might have get saved...
Its... all my fault...
Thinking abt this... breaks my heart....
I found myself... lost for so long....
I lost myself...
Thinking back... abt how.. great i can be... how good spiritually i can be..
I lost it all...
I lost the word of life in my mouth...
Its lost...
I wan them back!..
Ain't letting go away from mi...
I believe... with them.... i'll get more people save... doing wad i need to do.. building the church.
I'm dry....
Idk wad to say...
But... i was happy outside... sad in the inside...
Stubborn mi...
Broken Hearted i'm..
Need more faith.... more more... bigger bigger...
Came to realise tat i have lost alot of faith...
In terms of spiritually and other things...
You... brought mi faith making mi think... i will nv lose in it ever again...
But.. you... was also the one who took them away...
Bringing mi back to sq1...
Some questions.. to ask... tongue tied... and...
Even if asked... or... something changes....
Its going to be the same.. i guess..
Idk wad to say..

2009-08-27T07:58:00.000-07:00

Today... i was down...
Someone said.. something tat made mi go... little emo..
Haha.... well... i still dun know wad to say.. and i shouldn't blog abt her!.
Ok... lets move on...
So... during lunch... i order.. mini pot noodles. lolz..
Guess wad.. when i was stirring the noodles.. the flame became big.. and it burn my hand's hair!.
Omg la.. i scream lolz..
Den everyone looked at mi..
Haha....
Den after tat.. i got kinda emo..
Started daoing people.... ignoring people...
Got mad for nothing..
My my... sounds like the old mi..
Hot temp Novel...
Lets hope.. he dun come back : ).
Yea... today.. did quite alot of anger things... and thats all...
I'm getting confuse... need some help.. and str...

2009-08-26T07:41:00.000-07:00

Omg...
Today.. my dream was totally opposite.. my my...
I dream abt mi in a plane... and it crashed.. lolz..
Omg.. seriously.. idk wad to do...
And i'm wondering wads keep mi back from.. going..
Nothing.. much reali happen today... just the normal life...
Zzz.. i hate eating laska... with clam tat is... sour...
Pui... not fresh... so er xin... eww!..
Boring.. wed.. but at least... i complete... almost all things tat i need to do...
And... tomorrow i need to study my exams... ok.....
Tats all.. wish mi all the best.

2009-08-25T07:10:00.000-07:00

Ytd.. i was dam tired.. but it took mi dam long to slp..
I went to bed at 12.30. but... 1.20am.. i'm still awake...
Haha... had something on my mind.. and i can't stop thinking abt it...
My mother asked mi... if i wanna go japan...
And.. idk...
I asked myself.. y i dun wanna go.. but i can't find the reason.
And.. i had this dream last nite.
I dream abt mi and my mother.. going to a veri cold place...
Wandering to find a place to stay...
Soon.. we came to a hotel... and we checked in.
I felt hungry.. so i told my mother.. i'm going down stair to buy some snacks...
Haha.... on my way to a shop... a gurl followed mi...
She was going to the same shop as i'm...
Then... suddenly.. she walked towards mi...and pass mi a note...
Told mi not to read it.. until she gone...
Emm... weird...
After tat... she brought mi a cup of hot chocolate and left...
I open.. the note... and i read it...
My name is jane...
My number is.......(I dun rmb it...)
I find u a interesting guy... and.. wanna be friend with u..
U wanna text mi.. when we get back to SG?..
Will be interesting knowing u : )...
After tat ... i woke up..
Normally.. i dun rmb my dream.. after i wakes up.. this time.. i did...
Guess.. either.. i'm going crazy about gurls...
Or.. if i go,someone will be saved.
Or... i can find my future wife!..emm?... -.-.....
Hahas... i just dun know whether to go japan anot : (.
Yea... tats about my dream..
Today.... i saw a dam cute kid!...
Lol.. i love kids man.. :/...
I'm also veri despo to get one as soon as possible -....
And i wish i can get it now.. Lolz..
I wonder which gurl willing sia... Lolz....
Den.... when i think abt kids.. i got sian... tat i need money for milk ETC...
Roar...
Everything have a price to pay! Lolz..
>3 kids man!
Tats all today.. : )

2009-08-24T08:11:00.000-07:00

I'm seriously ... out of breath for asking...
Maybe.. i haven been doing this for awhile..
Its your choice..
Sad... this normally.. happens.. when i break down.. losing faith and hope...
I seriously... need to draw str from God..
Needa break through.......
Idk.. wad to say...
Something... happen in class today...
Zhi peng cause a mini explosion in class lolz..!!..
He overheat something den it exploded in front of him!
Haha..
Tats the joke of the day..
I reali reali wish... that... a good choice can be made.. from u .... whom i wish for..

2009-08-23T09:15:00.000-07:00

Well.. Well.. Well..
I haven been blogging for quite awhile..
My blog will be soon dead if i dun lolz..
Lalal.. some i came back to save this blog!...
I realise tat this blog have been around since i was sec two...
Though i dun reali post everyday tat time... it kinda wrote out my life in school.
I'm missing my sec school time...
Yea.. haha.... i'm here to tok alittle bit abt Elliot.
I felt sad for him... penguin ....
He can't wash other parts of his body other den his stomach...
Sad.. :(...
Dun worry Elliot i'll help u wash the other parts of your body ok!?. :D...
My exams is coming on this friday....
And i haven started studying .... my my...
Yay... my dad came back home already lolz...
He went overseas tat i didn't even know!...
Until i need him to sign cheque for mi... den i know he MIA.
Lolz...
My church 10th year anniversary is on this coming sat..!
So excited...
Hopefully.. my cousin will want to come...
Lolz... she is simply full of excuse not to come!...
Saying its boring...
Omg... tats a word tat will nv be use on my church!...
Or should i say... tat word.. will nv happen in my church!...
The coolest place, the most happening place, the most fun place....
Lalalala.... alot la.... say liao... day break already!
Haha.... Yea...
Shes just like mi when i was young.. afraid to try new things..
But one thing is for sure tat Melissa is coming lolz...
Such a good gurl listen to her brother.. :/..
Haha..!!
Roar....
Woo...
I have been eating 2.50$ chicken rice.. everyday... to save money!..
HAha... i dare not count how much i have saved..
Cause it either sad or happy...
Haha... hopefully... i have enough for my building fund!..
Lolz.. i haven think of the amount i wanna give..
Mymy...Lolz... Numbers.. maths....
I love maths man!...
Make my brain crack...
Wooo...but i'm just lazy to think at times...Or should i say most of the time :/...
Come on la...... Novel is pro de ok!...
Just see if i wan it or not onli lolz..
Novel makes things possible.. :D...
U try mi... Hehe....
I'm going crazy ... toking to myself lolz..
Haha.. this is interesting...
Emm... wad else... tat interesting.. tat i can blog it out man..!
I need to bring life into my blog...
Woosh!
Today... i'm going to slp at 5am again.. :/..
This gonna be a drag...
Haha....
Oh.. yea.. just rmb...
I'm going to be a good boi..
Haha....Good boi...
Yea... i guess it time... when i reali settle down....
Or... maybe not...
I guess... it time for mi to change... from being so free spirit...
Haha... but.. its a good thing... u know...
Just tat... sometimes.. it gives yr.. GF... not much security(I dun have one :D).
Haha..Lalala..
Dam...
Oh yea....This might be alittle emo...
But.. its in my head for quite a while..
Yea...
My God.. is truly.. amazing..
He did things... so wonderfully...
He changed people's heart...
Impacted people's life....
It happen to someone who was close to mi last time..
Haha...
Though... i " lost " tat friend...
But... deep in my heart.... i'm happy for her...
Though... sometimes... jealousy and anger takes place...
I guess.. it a test for mi....
Past few week sermon.. about Bigger... kinda... guiding mi.. back the path...
Moving on...
Haha...
I love to see people... go from..
Just for fun - A litte interested - Interested - On fire!!! lolz...
Dam.. cool...
Hahha.
People change... for the good or for the worst...
People change.
People changed...
Hahas...
Nth much more tat i wanna say anymore...
I LOVE YOU!!! Lolz...

2009-08-19T06:44:00.000-07:00

Time to blog..
I haven blog for 2 days...
Yep...
Some interesting things happened..
Well..
Starting from ytd..
One of my friend... made a gurl pregnant... and ask her to drop the baby...
Haiz.. idk wad to say...
Told him... he will regret when he grow up.
And... one more... is...
Haiz... its better not to blog out.. so ....:/..
Yea... i think tats all for ytd...
Today....
I my test was kinda badly done...
Haiz..
And... sometimes... i wonder...
Y i have this fucking jerk in my class...
Fucking idiot...
People like u are so idiotic... irritating...
Thinking u are the best toking as if u are the pro... and big shit.
And when someone hit u on the head of the nail or wins u... u shut STFU.
Fucking useless idiot.
Get out of my sight... u disgust mi..
Rahhh..

2009-08-17T07:11:00.000-07:00

Today... is a emo day...
I wonder wad was today abt....
I was complete... veri.. down...
And i just dun know wads the problem..
Haiz...
I reali dun know wad to say...

2009-08-15T10:15:00.000-07:00

Haven been blogging everyday...
Just dun have the feeling... cause.. i dun see much tag.. haha..
But.. i realise.. quite some people read my blog and dun tag!
Yea.. i realise tat Elliot reads my blog too haha...
Haha..
Well.. i guess today's post will be a little emo.. and a little happy...
I went to church today...
Pastors were away and they left a video for us..
Haha... though they are not standing on the stage...
The video was quite real and i thought tat they were standing there..
Yea... the final part of BIGGER...
It was... veri meaningful...
It made mi emo.. and thought alot... but... i still like it...
Cause it helped mi more to open up my heart more...
I was a little hit back by the sermon...
But... its also... where i learn new things tat i dun know..
Crappy... i'm speechless... to wad happen today...
To make Elliot... not so bored.. so i crack my brain and post this blog..
Claps for Elliot!haha!... Tar de kong lao.
I have to say... i was a little emo over the same person and over the same thing...
I guess.. it just my problem now...
Haha... be frank... i think of her every now and then...
When i slp and when i wake up... haha.. the things she said goes in my mind in and out..
Just tat i dun get emo must anymore..
I'm going to back to my normal...self...
Giving real smiles... playful smiles..
Back to making people irratated haha...
Tats fun ok!
But... when i give a smile.. sometimes i wonder... if wad i gave is real or fake...
I once said.. a smile is nothing much...
And i got a reply... a smile means a lot of things!...
Haha... well... tat depends on the user itself... on his way of smiling.
One more thing tat makes mi sad is..(if i offended u... sorry.. it just breaks my heart.)
We are from the same Cg...
And u are "ignoring" mi..
I reali dun know wad to do.. and wad to say..
Sometimes.. i keep holding back wad i wan to say...
Its just not mi... u know?... i dun like to keep things in my heart... when i wan to say them badly..
So.. sometimes.. i wans to say something... can i can't ... i just laugh at myself.. and give a silly smile.
I know.. u dun wan mi to think tat i stand a chance to be back with u...
Its ok... for u to say tat...
But.. sometimes .. i just feel sad tat within the same Cg... and u are not toking to mi...
Today... u walked past mi.. asking someone... u wan buy drink ?...
I want to say.. i want green tea...
But.. i held back... idk wad will be response.. or.. will i create awakardness..
So.. i didn't say..
There was many things tat i wan to say...
I guess i just say them here..: )
Well.. tat day... i saw yr twit .. saying tat y everyone in yr friendlist is prettier den u...
Haha.. i wanted to ask shipei to pass my message... so i wun be the on telling u...
What i want to say is... If a gurl keeps saying her friends around her are prettier den her.. she will nv be pretty.. and.. its not the external tat matters... its wads inside...
I guess.. i said tat to u before...
And... i guess u know it in your heart.. but u are just twitting for fun.. : )..
Hahas..
Tied tongue...
Yeap...
Theres alot things more tat i wan to tell u but... i just dun find it rite...
Anyway... all i wan to say it... i'm on my way of putting the past behind.
Guess tat all for my post today...(many other things not said.)

2009-08-13T06:40:00.000-07:00

Today is a day which is quite interesting..
Lolz..
I can't believe i was sent for counseling because my attendance was bad...
Emm.. cool..!..
I realise tat.. for every school i went to... i was counsel but the school counselor.
From primary school till ITE..
Omg lolz.. haha...
Wads wrong with mi.. oh my :/..
Thinking back.. i didn't notice tat i was counsel so much!
Idk wad more to say haha...
Yea.. school.. was kinda boring.. and had a stupid talk today..
Totally a waste of time... and i can have better opportunity cost!
Haha.. Econs.. on my :/...
Thinking back.. this is the period when i went out with my "sister" Yaoyun...
Sad.. its being three years.. hahaa..
Haven seen her anymore...
Somethings tells mi tat she already out of gurl's home early this year...
But.. didn't manage to contact her.. maybe she just dun rmb mi anymore..
One of the things tat saddens mi...
Wish i tok to her again.. haha...
Thinking back... around this period was when.. we went out for the first time and watch the fireworks..
Haha... quite fun : )...
Rahh... Yaoyun.. where are u ?...
U know u are my first sister..??.. so... y u left : (...
I still think of u now and then do u know tat?...
U always been in part of my heart haha!...
Saying this sentence above i realise tat my heart is divide into alot of places to fit alot of people in!.
Oh my.. Haha.
Lala... i didn't feel emo today ...
Emm.. abit.. when shipei and seeyin didnt reply mi..
Oh my :/..
Wooo...... go go go chiong arh!!..

2009-08-12T07:27:00.000-07:00

School was interesting today. : ).
Yea...
Zhi peng shared something with us..
Yea.. to know wads happening to him.. kinda relates him to mi..
When he said out wad is happening between him and his GF.. makes mi.. sad..
When i think back last month..
Yep... and.. i have somethings tat i wanna share with her..
Things tat onli.. she know... and i onli can tell her and no one else...
It irritating tat i can't tell her..
Yea... thinking of it.. makes mi have the urge to tell her...
But... even if she reply... it will no long be the same.. haha..
I'm not reali expecting her reply to be the same as last time..
As i know she already dun wan the relationship...
So.. the more i try to bring back the past she will ignore mi again..
Haha.. though she is not toking to mi nowadays...
But.. i guess.. i'm just back to the normal mi...
Silence of a phone everyday..
Onli got 4 messages today.. ouch.. sad... one looking for my sister... other 3 is jing fen updating things.
Haha... woke mi up from my slp..
Yea.. still have the feeling of telling her wad happen to my friend and how i feel..
Tooo bad :( ..
School was boring again today..
Ate chicken rice for lunch...
Planning to save more money..
And eat cheaper food. : )
Yea...
Guess tats all abt today..

2009-08-11T07:51:00.001-07:00

I made it... i was early for school today..
Haha...Yea good...
A good start.. : )...
My hair is sooo short...
Lolz... Cry.
Today.. haha.. went to eat kfc...
Then Gena made mi finish her cheese fries.. Lolz..
Was kinda full.. haven reali ate till FULL for quite a long time..
Rahh... Haha.. lesson as usual is boring.. Bo bian?.
Yea... and back home!..
Woo... my mother asked mi to do something i nv did be4...
Frying fillet...
Omg.
Before i started... she ask mi..
"Eh.. u sure u dun wan wear shirt?.."
" Ya la... ma fan la.. hot lei.. zzzz" I replied...
Lolz...
Den... when the oil started heating up...
I threw the fillet inside Lolz....
Den i run away... den the oil start splashing...
Lol!!!!...
Den bo bian.. i have to go closer to flip the fillet lolz..
Den the oil tio mi den i start screaming lolz..
Ouch..
Haha.. to all guys... who dun wear shirt at home...
WEAR it when u are frying something..
Ignore the heat.... or u feel the PAIN...
Lolz.
Trust mi it hurts lolz..
My mother laughed at mi screaming when the oil hit mi...
Tats all!! RAhh.. haha..

2009-08-10T07:37:00.000-07:00

Haha... i stayed awake till 5 am today!..
Den i when to slp haha..
But.. then.. i can't
I was flipping over here and there lolz...
Then.... not knowing i fell aslp haha.. cute rite?.. zzz..
I woke up at 12 later on lol..
Tat little amount of slp.. but i'm still alive..
After tat... i ate lunch den my mother ask mi go and cut my hair...
Hahah.. thinking to just now... the auntie reali cut my hair till veri short sia ..
Den she helped mi highlight alittle lolz..
But... not veri ming sian...
Nvm.. exams are coming up i dun wan tio tai ji haha..
Yea...
Tat all... and i realise tat.. with earpiece on... i can't hear anything outside!
Lol...
And... the music is much more better!..
Haha...
Haiz...
Listening to your music everyday...
Laughing at how nice and how good u are...
Laughing at wad a person u are.. : ).

2009-08-09T10:12:00.000-07:00

Thinking back...
I realise... how the devil works and how God works...
Devil.. controls by using our fear...
But... we fear God..
So... its the other way round...
Two years ago... or three..
Was brought to a place which i dun reali like..
A place where the atmosphere is totally the opposite of church..
I was so scare when he gave mi a fear... and made mi so scared but do nothing then to follow it..
Later on... i hate my mother for bringing mi there..
He tied mi up with heavy chains.. as a punishment...
But now.. i have God in mi.. i no longer need to fear him...
And theres a song tat says.. my chains are gone....
I being to understand...
Tat with God.. whatever tat the devil have places in my heart,my mind sets, tying mi up will be gone...
Thinking back...
To realise tat theres a reason y God dun show himself in real..
Y God don't say out wad have we done wrong but would rather us to confess to him.
I came to realize tat there is a reason for it...
Because of the place i was brought to....
The devil comes with a atmosphere with fear and darkness..
A very uncomfortable feeling..
Though u can't see it... u can feel it at times..
I experience it and the feeling.... is not very nice... or should i say not nice..
Its fears mi with his presence
But God.. comes with a presence tat u love it so much... and wish u can just dwell in it.
I love the presence of God.
Yea..
Well.. back to the other topic...
If.. God would have to show himself... infront of u...
And tell u all the things tat u have done wrong.. all the sin tat u made...
I'm sure.. u will have the feeling.. everytime u are doing something..
U felt as if u are being watched.
It give u a feeling tat u wun like it..
Being through it... knows how it feels like...
Though there are other god in this w/e.. it called...
But i believe in my God Jesus...
For he have shown mi.. wad is he capable of..
The things i can do with him in mi..
Thinking back...
I have a wonderful past..childhood.
I realize.. tat... i knew God.. since i was young...
But i nv reali go deeper into it..
I have so much hunger for God when i was in P school..
Skipping recess just to hear the word of God..
Cool...
In my kindergarden...
I knew him already....
Prayed when we eat haha...
Tat so cool..
Yea... i still rmb.. tat time... my father have a stomachache ...
It was reali bad and have to be hospitalize..
I rmb.. veri clearly...
I knee down beside him whole my hands tight together and prayed.
Father God... please help my father.. dun let him be like this.
Heal him lord.. help him.. be normal again.. in the name of Jesus chirst.
Amen...
The next day after he came back from his check up.. his ok.. : )..
I knew it was God..
But... the sad thing is...
I always ask God for things tat i wan...
Then later fail him.. for wad i promise tat i'll do if he helps mi...
He have so much forgiveness to forgive every sin..
Every promise tat i made.
He indeed proves himself worthy..
God is amazing.. so amazing tat idk wad to say...
Totally speechless..
I'm going to pray for the people i wan them to get save so much..
Guess tats where i'm going to restart again..
Hahaha.. guess this is end of my post!
Rah...
Jesus.. thank you for everything. >3

2009-08-08T09:49:00.000-07:00

I didn't blog on friday... lolz..
Oh my...
Lolz. Desiree was wondering how can i blog abt wad happen in my life everyday...
And.. sometimes.. i'm simply lazy to blog...
Thinking back... i reopen my blog for one reason.
But the reason... is no longer a reason..
Haha... nvm!!..
Well...Shipei kanna H1N1...
Sian.. didn't see her in church today...
But... at least i get to see john...
Tats.. the good thing....
There is two things tat made mi veri happy.
First... i gave my tithe ! after so long haha..
Second... today... i totally didn't emo over her...
Though i can't get her off my mind at times.. but.. haha.. i'm still happy with my progress..
And i found out listening to songs keeps mi from thinking about her..
Yea man..!!...
Soon... she will not affect mi anymore..
Yea.. i'm happy with it...
Tats all.. lazy say more haha..
Sorry!

2009-08-05T07:58:00.000-07:00

Today... was a great day...
Though the starting of the day was veri sian...
But... at the end... or near to the end.. it was a veri good one...
My alarm didn't go off and so.. i woke up late and didn't go to school..
Haha..
So.. i stayed at home and didn't do anything much...
Yea.. den i was thinking if i should go for CG...
My ah yi.. scold mi... saying... there no point... no going just because of her...
Haha...
So... at the last min... i pack pack bathe...
And chiong out!...
I was late for 10 mins :D
Well... u know.. i have something to confess...
I haven been going to CG like ... abt 1 year?... lolz.. somewhere there la..
Yea... i didn't regret going for CG.
Church is a place where i can rest my heart..
A place tat find peace...
Well... today...
At Cg... Jieru.. said everything tat i needed....
At first... i was like.. waaa....
Dun siao siao.. i come surely got reason...
Must be God liao... can't be fake...
Everything was like spoke out of her mouth... and it was like.. wad i needed..
Yea... dun lose heart...
Go back to the first love that is so much more den any other person can give.
She also said... tat leader will nv be too busy to tok to u more abt getting new friends...
And she saying tat... hit mi hard...
I just realise tat how much off track and how lost was i today...
My mind set have changed so much...
And... i use to think tat.. leaders are busy.. and we should tok to them or else.. it will be disturbing...
Later i know tat it defeats the purpose of church..
Haha.. silly mi!!..
Yea..
I learn alot today la... lolz.. lazy say everyting..
Blog for like 1 h already lolz..!! omg...

2009-08-04T06:25:00.000-07:00

Sometimes... idk wad to say...
I guess.. i'm guess hiding and running away from the problem...
But... i feel reali hopless at times..
Like always.. i bring disappointment..
U wun be the first one i bring disappointment to...
I'm srry...
I know i might not be doing the best.. and i know... i should try harder..
I'm sorry... i'm... reali.... veri sorry...
If u wan... i can just disappear out of your life.. onces and for all...
I'm also veri disappointed with myself...
I'm loving a gurl... who dun love mi anymore...
I'm missing a gurl i dun miss anymore...
I wan this gurl so badly...
But... behind all this...
I know... she was not meant for mi... even if so.... maybe.. when i'm older...
I still cant let go yr smile...
Your loveliness..
Your smelly..
Your presence...
Your brightness..
Your tight hug...
So many things..
I"m sorry... i'm trying my best..
I still love u..... Crappy.. nvm...
Bye bye....
My mother asked mi... y your GF nv come already....
Idk wad to reply her.. haiz...
Out of the sudden she asked.... randomness..

2009-08-03T09:45:00.000-07:00

Just to add on...
I dun wanna see u emo..
I dun wan u to be sad..
This reminds mi....
Tat u once said...
I was the one who took off yr emo and sadness...
Hahaha... if i have the chance... i will do it again.. : )..
But.. dun think its possible...
So.. i'm just saying... i dun wan u to be sad and emo...
I wish i can be there to cheer u on...
Rahhh.. crap... i should not be saying all this..!!..
Omg... i'm breaking the rule again...
Zzz..
Nvm luh....
Promises and rules are made to be broken and forgotten : )..
Cheer up...
Dun lose faith..

2009-08-03T08:51:00.000-07:00

I went to school today!...
Cooked lunch for my mi and mother...
Sad... she can't do much cooking now.. and everything is like on mi..
And today.... she kinda messed the kitchen lolz..
She put the fire starter gun too near to the fire.. den it burned.. lolz..
Den i was playing game and i smell something weird...
I ask her wads the smell.. ask was on the fone and asked mi go check...
I go check den i saw a fire.. den i shout...
Mi ah... zao huo le!... she still on the fone -.-...
Den i faster take water and splash on it lolz..
And den i realise my skill of splashing water is so Zzzz...?
Den... i wore the shirt to school again..
Today.. with a different meaning.. was sad....
Haha.. in case u dun know.. tat shirt have two meaning.. sad and happy..
Haha.... i emoing today... lalal crap.
Val.. asked/said something to mi..
But i forgot.. but i find wad she said meaningful.
I just cant help it : (.
Anyway.... on the way back...
I saw this gurl..
I saw her a couple of times already haha...
And on the train... she was sitting across mi...
She was kinda like tired.. and slping..
But den we keep looking at each other.. haha..
So i told my ah yi abt it..
Den she said.. try smiling at her next time.
See if there is a good reaction...
Lolz.. i wonder when i see her!!..
Lolz... ahha

2009-08-02T08:08:00.000-07:00

Today.. things are going veri well...
Woke up.. and i dun feel like doing anything...
Trying my very best to forget.. trying my very best to be happy...
But everytime i tried.. it always brings mi back down...
I'm like hanging down there going up a slope.. and later dropped down...
I find it very hard to find whats wrong with mi...
I can always pay attention and noe wads going on around the people with mi...
But i just can't pay attention to myself..
I just wan my old self back...
But i also wan something else back...
The things i wan both crashes with each other...
Sometimes i dun noe which one to pick....
I pick my old self.. i have to let go...
On the other hand... i dun feel like letting go...
I'm tired.... i dun feel like fighting on...
But... it impossible....
The world is still moving when i wanna stop and let times freeze...
Totally.. hopeless...
My weakness.. is always the spot i die....
I reali dun noe wan i wan....
Of all gurls... i'm stuck with on.. 24/7 in my mind...
Tell myself.. i have to get it out.. or else i'm not moving...
Y.... Y.... was making mi not letting go...
Starting to hate everything.....
Cling there... swinging sides to sides...
People can't always be there for mi....
I need to pick up where i fell...
And i'm not...
Idk wad i wan..
Idk wad to do...
Idk where i'm...
I'm lost..
I'm confuse....
I'm trying my very best to forget and let go.....
Guess i'm not tat strong...

2009-08-01T09:58:00.000-07:00

Today... its combined service day!..
So shock tat Jan asked mi to go church together with her...
And soo.. i did lo.. haha...
When i reach there it was quite early...
Lolz... and i was feeling great and happy.
Den it was service!!..
It was cool haha..
Yea... i was quite happy and feeling good.
During service.. i felt tat.. the old mi is coming back! haha
I was starting to think i was ok...
Tat feeling onli lasted for awhile today..
During service.. my headache came to mi again.. sad...
Well... after service.. i was still ok...
But... when i saw her hugging Yi wen...
Suddenly... i wish i was tat one being hugged ...
After dinner.... i kinda felt little emo...
Val... started singing some songs....
Jie kou... haiz...
Haha... sometimes... things are not easy den i thought haha..
Yea.. made mi think of her...
And with her walking around.. it makes mi feel sad... slowly...
After tat my joy... slowly fade away..
Darkness start to over come..
When i look into her eyes... idk.. always... i got the same feeling..
The feeling tat she dun wanna do this...
And she will be coming back one day...
I wonder... if it is real.. or i'm just thinking too much again...
After sitting down in church for awhile i got bored...
She started playing with nic's cam...
Den i left to play volley ball.. haha ....
W/e... i felt emo.. slowly bit by bit....
Den... after tat ... was abt to go home... when taking the escalator up the MRT....
Felt tat.. she was there... and.. i was right...
Saw my Cg there.. haha..
Yea... i saw her eyes... again... those eyes..
Haha..
Den soon.. people go their own ways when the train came...
On the train... my thoughts went wild...
Guess i let it be.. haha...
Lalalal.. nothing much on the train happen...
Just some thoughts crazy... :)..

2009-07-31T10:48:00.000-07:00

Today i pon school!..
Lolz.. den at home... i rest till 11 den wake up...
After tat... like 2h or more.. my father called mi and ask mi to pick my mother up from hospital.
Haha... the way there is super sian...
So boring... so far...
Lolz.. be4 tat.. i have to cook my own lunch...
Tried to make steam egg..
Sad.. add too little water lolz..
So.. first try failed lolz..
I asked my mother how to make steam egg... den she teach mi verbally lolz..
Haha..
Den i was late to meet up for FOP...
Haha... den i rushed down.. and go there : D...
Lolz... i wore a shirt tat i didn't wash for 3 weeks omg!..
Haha... and idk if i should wash it lolz...!!..
I wore tat shirt today because i'm happy for wad i did...
And my feelings are good!...
The shirt is pretty in colour and it shows everyone.. i'm happy.
Its been 3 week since i wore tat shirt! lolz..
Haha... tat mean.. i have been not veri good for the past 3 week..
But its over now.
Went for FOP today...
The sermon was great..
No more worries...
Lolz.. a sermon.... made for mi tat day i guess..
Love it... will post more abt it 2morrow.. brain kinda dead now..
Haha.. ok... tats all.. to lazy to carry on.
I NV EMO TODAY WHEN I SEE HER.. DAM HAPPY!
>3s

2009-07-30T09:56:00.000-07:00

Bored at nite..
Emoing...
Have nothing better to do...
So... i came out with some rules... and wad i wan hehe..
Well...I'll start with relationship rules first...
Cause i just ended one.
Well.. i made some promise to myself.. so.. i'll alway be the one getting hurt..
So... my gurl will nv get hurt by mi :).
If i even flirt a gurl.. and she reali likes mi and we get together...
I'll not play her feeling and i'll find ways to love her...
And make it good and lasting within both of us...
If i made a promise to my gurl.. i'll nv break it...
In fact if i promise anyone... i wun break it...
I'll nv flirt another gurl if i'm attached.
I'll nv lie to my gurl if i did something wrong..
I'll nv end the relationship.. if i got it started... if theres a problem i'll solve it...
I'll share every problem everything with my gurl.
I'll nv vent my anger on my gurl no matter how angry i'm or pissed it..
I'll nv find another gurl to be a sub to get over my ex..
I'll nv two time a gurl.
I'll nv cheat my gurl.
I'll always be honest with my gurl.
Haha.. i guess tat all for relationship..
Well.. for wad i wan...
Emm.. i wan quite alot of things...
Let mi start off from the items that i wan.
I wan ipod.
I wan more clothes.
I wan a new jacket.
I wan a new phone.
I wan student plan!.
I wan a new com.
I wan long sleeve shirt.
I wan new shoes.
I wan to be more loved.
I wan tattoo.. lolz..
I wan more piecing..
I wan more money.!
Die need to slp... update 2morrow!! ahha. >3
Haha continue today :L
Yesterday i stopped at wad i wan.. haha.. and i guess tat all i wan...
Now... is the dream gurl i wan haha..!!
My ah yi.. say i'm veri picky for my GF lolz..
Haha... GF ma ><....
Firstly... she must not be too fat... and not skinny... just ba ba can already.. haha..
Den... she cannot say shes is fat!.
She must be pretty enough for mi can liao..
Sexy.. em?.. y not.. haha.
Tall... Dun taller den mi can liao le lo..
Age.. 1 year older or 3 years younger den mi lo..
She must nt be veri shopaholic... well if she is... i will still love her haha..
SHE CANNOT BE A BIMBO.. i'll run away...
She must be cute and shy at times.!
She must learn how to cook and do housework (this is wad my mother wan...).
She must know how to take care of mi..
She must pamper mi .. lolz... i will pamper her also luh...
Must know how to dress.. (Duh.. all gurl noes tat..)
She must not be a smoker..
She must love kids... cuase i wan 4 kids :/
I thinking... tat all :/....... or maybe more.. forgot ATM.. ahha..
Lastly... she must be SEXY,Hot and LOVING for mi!.
Haha... i wonder who will this gurl be. :(

2009-07-30T08:38:00.000-07:00

Idk wad to post today..
I didn't went to school today again...
My mother is going to get her eye operation tomorrow..
Haha.. and i dun wanan go school tomorrow..
Have a few things to say...
U are never gonna come back... thats for sure...
Though i love u.. i guess.. its reali time to let go...
I hate u for u left mi...
But i love u for wad u have given mi...
Though i still love u now...
But... it reali time for mi to let go..
Holding on one sided will onli bring more pain..
U brought mi enough happiness... even if its just awhile...
I noe i have been an idiot for the past 1 month....
Its mi... tat wad i did last time .. when my other ex left mi..
Haha... this is how emo... i can be...
Closing myself up... ignoring advise...
I'm just.. stubborn...
And i guess.. i'll die of cancer for tat.. haha...
Tats wad facebook quiz and i think it true..
Yea... it time to let go. everything...
I cut myself today... and didn't notice it till i saw blood on my keyboard..
Haha... so silly ><....
Rahhh...!!

2009-07-29T08:06:00.000-07:00

Today is a super long day....
Super sian...
But.. i went to school because my baby mei mei call mi to be a good boi and go to school..
Haha... so.. i wanted to be a good boi.. so i went to school.!
Hahaha... i love my baby mei mei...
Always standing there for mi as much as she can...
She is none other den Seeyin!
Haha..
Hope tat there will be more of her coming to meet mi.
Lolz..
Den i told her today.. if no one wan mi.. and no one wans her :/..
Both of us will marry each other.. haha!
Wad a joke..
And now.. she is my baby ://
Just a bao bei mei mei..
Dun get the wrong idea!..
Wun be getting into a new relationship so fast...
Maybe .. 1 or 2 more years..
Haha..
Today is a super long day...
Out from home for like more den 10h.. and it reali wears mi out.!
Now i'm finally home.. i feel so.. rested.!
Made a decision tat i'll be fine...
Its no long matter.. haha!..
Yea... Desiree scold mi for tat post i made late/early last nite..
Haha.. too bad.. i just feel much better after tat lolz..
Tats the end of today post i guess..
I >3 Seeyin! haha..

2009-07-28T19:50:00.000-07:00

Everyday i tell myself.. y do i get so sad over u...
I dun know y...
People say... there is alway much prettier gurl and better gurl outside...
Y get hung over one...
Idk y...
Sometimes... wad keep mi going still loving u.. still wanting u to come back...
When everyday... i tell myself.. it ovr it reali over...
But.. somehow i just dun listen....
I'm reali lost... back to the last time.... same feeling...
Something is jsut missing and i want it back badly...
I felt much more lonely den be4..
Always looking for someone to chat with mi..
But... there is no one like u tat chat with mi like last time..
Fear may things in life... one more is just loneliness..
Also hate to be ignored...
If u gonna ignore.. make sure.. u do it till the max..
Or else.. it will just be in vain..

2009-07-28T08:31:00.000-07:00

Sometimes.. i reali wonder y i'm so dumb..
History anyway repeats itself no matter how much i try to learn..
Just tat things nv change..
Just for mi.. doesn't matter...
Still wondering.. how come i can so dumb to love someone who dun love mi anymore..
How is it possible myself to keep going thinking tat she will come back one day..
When i already saw the fact and wads coming up ahead..
Why i'm still unable to accept to face wad have already happen..
I'm alway making matter worst...
Being hated...
Indirect self inflicted pain...
Many times, i tell myself.. its over.. take it and push it back and move on..
But i just wanna hang there..
Going through all the pain tat are not suppose for mi to go through..
Self inflicted pain..
Any up coming pain coming for mi will not long hurt mi...
But will just stack up... making things even longer and harder to get through...
Tat y.. i took years to overcome the first one..
Was toking to my god sister...
She alway says tat there is no point for mi to keep doing this..
But i'm just doing it..
Doesn't matter...
I can feel tat it the feeling fading..
But i struggle for it to come back..
Doing wad ever tat is possible to make mi remember it...
I'm think i'm the most senseless human being alive in this planet..
Failing everything tat i'm suppose to be done...
This post is so dam.... tat desiree is going to scold mi for being such an idiot
Posting this kinda post again...
Well.. i guess i didn't promise not to..
Cause i noe.. i will do it sooner or later..
Miss someone who dun miss mi is being stupid....
I see myself fading off so much...
Fearing tat i lose it... but.. its better to lose it..
And then everything will be back to normal..
Somethings are so hard to say..
Ever since i grow older.
I brought nothing but disappointment..
Being the fallen... not rising up from where i fell..
Guess.. i'm going to be hate by u soo badly..
Tat there wun be chances of being close to being friends..
Guess.. tat wun matter.. cause i'm all messed up..
Bet tat u aare thinking tat u have made a perfect choice..
Yea.. u are perfectly rite..
Told u ... the first week tat i met u..
I'm one emo kid..
And u said u are one too..
So... guess whose the one which is more emo?..
U haven seen the worst yet..
This is just the normal one... or just alittle more then normal one..
But... the worst will never be shown...
Cause its totally not worth it..
Haha.. totally not worth...
Sometimes.. i wonder... wad do i deserve to be with u...
Totally one heaven and earth at times..
I'm born with a heart full of kindness.. and softness..
But sometimes.. they turned to evilness and hardness..
Because i let hatred rule over mi when i'm down.
Well... all i noe is.......................................................................................................................................................................................................
not to be said out.. cause the result of wad i wanted to say will be not beri nice...
And its onli my own point of view.
Doesn't matter..
Cause its going to be gone soon...
I wasn't made for u..
Hate mi with all u got.. u wun be the first to be doing tat..
My feelings for itare dead..
Even i want to have it back veri badly...
Its unbeiliveable tat i did all the things tat i dun dare to do last time with u..
Tat y u mean so much to mi...
Not because of wad i did with u...
Its for wad i had for u..
But this doesn't matter anymore..
Since i knew it long ago tat u wun fcuking care abt it anymore...
So it doesn't matter if u read this or not... i aint caring abt it...
Doesn't matter.. i'm already dead to u...
U nv know how much u were to mi.....
U reali reali wanted to leave tat time...
U made up yr mind so clearly..
And.... i had nothing to do to stop u from leaving..
Short term pain better den long term pain...
Tats wad u said...
But to mi.. both are pain...
So it doesn't matter if its short or long...
Haha..
Guess it too late to say it now.
Everything for mi is too late..
Still thinking wads there to be change tat at this point of time.
What more do u expect from mi at this point of time...
When i already lost myself...
Didn't noe i will turn to be so emo today...
Which i didn't intend to .....
Was already getting better...
But things are still no longer the same..
Wanted the times back there badly..
Well... its not reali the together part.. cause.. having it or not dun reali matter...
Already trying to let it go...
And its already gone....
Its either i'm cheating on myself.. or its reali..
I still dun noe.... wads real in mi and was fake...
Lived my life like tat and it wun matter...
U should be spenting time studying den to be reading...
Though u need a break... but it isn't suppose to be here.
Mi now to u is... making u fed up.. after tat... be sorry for it...
So theres no point for u to be in this web page...
Wads the point for reading wad i post when u dun care anymore?.
See the irony. : )??..
Or checking if i'm ok..?.. or have idiotic i have become?..
Both ways links...
I'm was dead....
The Novel u knew last time... is long dead...
Possible to be revive... but... it takes time and support...
Yesh.. i'm weak......
W/E.. it dun matter....
Everything... is turning into hate...
Crapped.. nv thought tat it will come this far....
And makes mi wanted to say things out to this extend...
Things were made till it can't be change....
And all it does.. is irratates and make u hate mi more...
Haha... tats wad i do ..... making people hate mi....
Or maybe not...
Depends on the way u look at mi...
Theres nothing i can judge.. and there nothing tat i can pin point..
Haha....
I dun noe if i should drag to the extend to post how much i hate u...
Though hating u.. i still wans u to come back badly.
But i already made way tat its impossible...
Or to the worst extend.
Yi bai liang shan...
I always have been so soft hearted tat i didn't wanted to do it...
Since yi zuo chu yi wo zuo shi wu...
I hate u for making fake promises..
I hate u for taking a step tat u are not ready for.
I hate u for leaving when u promised not to.
I hate u for breaking a promise..
I hate people who break promises...
My mother made mi promises when i'm young ending up breaking them all..
So i hated it veri much...
Next time... be4 u reali make a choice...
Make sure u fcuking think twice..
Then to fucking say tat u have been thinking and u found out u make a wrong choice back there...
Fuck this...
Hate mi for wad i said...
I DUN FUCKING CARE ABT IT ANYMORE..
Since there is no turn back...
Then might as well make it to the extend tat i'll feel better..
Then to cry to myself thinking tat u will come back one day....
Fcuk it!
I DUN WANNA CARE ABT IT ANYMORE...
I GOT ENOUGH AND ITS ENOUGH...
Well.. its not totally your fault.
Its just tat u are too unlucky tat everything piles up..
And u are the unlucky one to be the jackpot.
Things piles up.. and i'm alway keeping it to myself...
So this is it...
I hate u.
I hate this.
Hating someone is harder den loving someone...
But idk y i came to this extend..
Maybe u nv expect this coming..
But it came....
Life is unexpected...
Maybe hating u will be the onli way i can get over u...
But.. ending up.. i still love u more den i hate u....
I already know it and i still do it...
Well.. its just mi...
I lost it totally...
I though of leaving church so i wun get to see u and things tat the things when we are 2gether...
But.. when i thought of tat my heart breaks...
That so many people who cares abt mi will be worry...
I thought abt killing myself...
Then i thought of my mother...
If i die... how is she going to feel...
Putting myself into others shoes feeling how is it like... if i killed myself....
The pain, the sadness onli makes mi more sad and wans to cry more...
Deep in my heart... i dun wan this to happen...
But.. i kept fighting... maybe i'm not putting enough effort..
Deep in my heart... i wan u back badly...
But u already made the choice....
Theres nothing tat can make u change yr mind now...
When its time to leave... its time to leave...
When it time to let go.. no matter wad.. it must be let go..
Just have to wait for the one next to bring mi out of this...
Haha.. and then the cycle contiune..
I wish.. i can just numb myself...
And ingore the feelings tat were made for us to feel the love.
If i would have to numb all my feelings.
So many unepected thing will be happening...
Told myself everyday... tat i will not into a relationship..unless the gurl reali reali likes mi...
And she take the first step to chase mi...
Haha... i wonder which gurl will?...
But i always gave in... and be the one to start it first.
Doesnt matter...
Cause for wad i had done...
No one will be daring enough to tok to mi...
All are so scare of how emo i can be...
How dao.. i was....
I thought i was going to be ok soon....
But.... this post just poped up..
Hahaha.... its all my fault..
Everything starts from mi...
And there is no ending....
Cause idk wad to say....
From wad happen......
I told myself...
Always think more then one time be4 u get commited to a relationship..
Or else...
I'm a living example of the result tat will happen...
Doesn't matter....
I lost it..
Totally... its gone.. totally gone...
All my fault....
Dun care abt it anymore...
U can hate mi all u wan.... cause i said... i no long matter anymore....
Living in darkness.. though there is light..
I simply refuse to follow the light out of the darkness for some reason...
And.. tat reason i know it myself.. just tat i dun wan to face it...
This have always been my problem...
Though i reali like the times with u...
This not going to come back anymore...
I love u.
End of post.

2009-07-28T06:37:00.000-07:00

I actually had something in my mind tat i wanted to blog about.
But i forgot...
And i remember it now..
It was actually abt her:/..
Yea.. my readers are getting sian of mi blogging abt her..
Miss her like ... wanting her back like .... but she wun care...
Haha.. missing someone who wun miss u.. is either a waste of time...Or u reali loved too much..
Doesn't matter..
I had 3 main songs...for her..
Haha..
06 06.爱丫爱丫 2
谁说
And Jie kou..
I guess i send u the song 谁说 be4.. and u heard it be4...
Nice songs...
Wanted to sing to u.. lolz..
Lolz.. make u so zzzzzzz....
No point.. just sing to myself baa....

2009-07-28T03:19:00.000-07:00

Today.. is the 28th...
This date.. was the time when the other Ex of mine left mi..
And.. today is the 23 day tat my last Gf left mi.
And counting...
Idk wad to blog today...
Quite boring in school.
Was to watch harry potter today.. but too bad.. things dun work out..
Now adays.. idk wad i'm doing wad i'm up to..
Just feel tat something is missing..and it no longer there.
I wonder wads is it...

2009-07-27T08:15:00.000-07:00

Back from school..
Haha... in school i thought of one thing..
I made a right choice 2 weeks ago!..
Haha.. it was about the econ text book tat Eloise lent mi..
I passed in to Jieru.. and i didn't went to church last week..
Though i wanted to pass to her face to face... but.. i was sick.. too bad uh..
Lalal.. nvm... she also dun wan.. haha..
She is busying mugging..
Jiayou :D...(Guess u wun bother.)
Anyway.. i was wondering... whether to wear tat shirt tat she buy for mi..
It was the first shirt tat a gurl or should i say a Gf who brought for mi...
Its the onli pretty shirt tat i have..
And wearing it shows tat i'm happy for the day..
But.. the background of the shirt is...
Lol... idk whether if i should wear it..
Guess it doesn't matter to her if i do or not...
A first shirt tat a gurl gave mi..
Crapp... nvm...
Sometimes....i have tat thought tat u are too 'shy'...to come back to mi..
Chances for tat are low..
I still love u.. :(...
Knowing tat u seeing this... will result more ignorance to mi...
But.. i just wan to say :/.. ...
Sooner or later i'll get over it..
Doesn't matter... : )..

2009-07-27T01:20:00.000-07:00

Went to school today at last...
I was totally not motivated to go to school..
Dragged myself there...
On the way there saw some friends.. but didn't bother to walk over and say hi..
Den... i went to school.. found out theres no one going to eat with mi...
So i went to the stone table... and saw Yong sing there..
Den sat down awhile and later ta bao chicken rice there to eat ....
Waited for the chicken rice so long...
After i finish my food.. Yong sin ask mi play blackjack..
Haha... i turn down a few times.. then i finally gave in..
Said.. play small small.. : )..
And.. my first card was BLACKJACK..
Yong sing and his other friend... on the spot shag....
After 3 rounds... its time to change bank to the other friend...
First round with tat banker...
Haiz.. BLACKJACK....
He immediately high..
But.. i still gave him the sian sian face..
Den he scold mi.. OIE u win money still so sian for wad!...
Haha.. den later.. i get 4 cards... zzz no big enough.. 1 more card.. bommbb.
DIE pay double.. Zzzz..
Den he laugh at mi.. c la.. blackjack more.. noleng boom nia..
-.-... den he said... nvm la shi lian good also not bad de..
Haha.. as he said tat... i open my card..
Double aces :/... he instantly... @#$#$..
Yong sing scold him.. knn u suay chiu..
Den my turn to be banker...
I bao bao bao all the way till the last one..
4 cards.. 18.. den i sian... just take.. aces!
Lolz.. den it was noleng 19.. lolz!..
Den they all shag.. ><...
After tat i went to class...
Dam sian when i enter...
Not even half the class was there.. haha..
I sat alone... start messaging some people..
Cuase it was super sian....
My thought of getting a tattoo got stronger.. and i wan it..
I told my ah yi.. den she say wait... cuase she say i'm doing it on impulse..
Guess its quite true haha..
Den she say.. i should think more abt it.. and went i'm 21.. she treat mi air brush.. lolz..
Haha... though its onli air brush... my ah yi.. also quite da fang...
Guess.. i'm her closest nephew she ever had..
Haha..Hope she get a good guy to take care of her when she grow older :/
Lala... i wan a tattoo...
The letter love on Gara's forhead.. haha... put on my ankle..
Haha..
My feelings today is so...
Crappy.
I call today's modd all in one..
I'm sad,pissed,emo,fed up,irratated,hopeless,disappointed...
So many more tat i can't be bother to say them all out.

2009-07-26T07:20:00.000-07:00

Rahhh
I'm bored to death.!
Today Liverpool vs Sg ,sian till the max!.
Wa lao..0-6... kan xia suay.. haha...
Make mi no movie watch somemore.. Piang eh!
Lala...Was looking through eveyone facebook pic.. lolz...
Den...
My mind said...
When are pretty.. u are dam pretty,
When are hot.. u are dam hot!,
When u are sexy.... u are dam sexy...
When u are nice... u are dam nice...
But... when u are ugly.. u are dam ugly.:/
Haha... sorry luh... nothing to blog.. so just said this..
Other then this.. lolz.. i still thought of random stuff..
I was thinking how to treat my next GF better.. and treating my wife the BEST!.
Haha...
Dun ask mi abt wad i'm planning to do..
Top secret! haha..I guess tat all hehe...

2009-07-25T22:10:00.000-07:00

Yesterday nite... when i was going to slp..
Suddenly veri emo. Haha... idk y...
But.. all of the sudden..
I ask myself.. y i'm alway lefted out.
Y i was not spiritually as good as others..
Y sometimes i'm so lazy tat i dun bother to do things...
Felt so... depressed ytd...
Somehow.... i feel like i'm alway a spare tire..
Used when needed thrown away when there is no need for mi.
Life like tat is so sadden if i'm treated like tat..
And.. i didn't went to church .. haiz..
Saddening.. haha...
Crap... i felt like banging the wall.. over all stupid things tat i have ever done..
Finally...
I guess i'm letting it go..
Though i still the things we do.. but.. its over.. tats... just a past and a memory..
Looking back... its... the past.. even if there is a time machine..
There will be surely a butterfly effect....
Life is just like this haha...
Yea... gonna bounce back where i fell.. bang.!

2009-07-25T09:06:00.000-07:00

Well.. i feel dam sad and emo today.
Fever went up to 38.4 today when i woke up...
Drank alot of water.. hoping tat the fever can die down and i can go to church...
Sad.
Today was suppose to bring Wai seng to church de ... thks to my fever..
Zzz so didn't brought him today..
Sian till the max!..
And worst of all i didn't go to church!..
Desiree said she got something for mi...
Den... someone wans to mi .... and i wans to c who is she.. cause i can't identify who is she from FB!.
Lolz.. haha..
When i was stuck at home.. i got nothing to do than play games..
Made some plans.. haha..
Was super bored tat i anyhow do things.
Yea.. today at home.. i was super emo..
Haiz... Head so pain...
Totally messed up...
I wan i wan i wan..
I miss i miss miss...
I lost i lost i lost..

2009-07-24T02:42:00.001-07:00

Today.. i didn't go 2 school!..
Omg.. i'm addicted to going late and ponning school!!.
Haha..
Its friday... who cares?!..
Woke up at 8 to eat medicine.. lolz.. den woke up at 11 later on...
Lolz.. my mother ask mi go c doctor.
Scare i tio H1N1
Haha...
Novel wun be so suay ok?!
Today.. is also her last day of school...
Happy for her.. cause she dun need to wake up early and go to school..
Haha.. but den her prelims are coming soon..
How i wish i can be by her side... helping her go through her A's..
Maybe if things didn't happen.. i might be able to do tat...
Now.. i'll just be a burden..
Pathetic it is..
She still not toking to mi.. doesn't matter..
Well.. she dun wanna give mi false hope..
But.. there something i have to say..
Even if she dun tok to mi..
It wun stop mi from getting hope from thinking tat we will get 2gether again..
Haha...
Mi mi mi.. Novel have alway been Novel.
Just keep ignoring mi... till it fades.. haha..
Wonder when will tat happen?..
Emm.. i just wanna wish u all the best..
Study hard.. dun stress yourself out..
Everyone will be saying tat to u.. so.. if i say or not..
Dun think it will be meaning anything to u.
Haha.. but i'm still going to say!..
Though i wan to be by your side helping u along with yr studies in anyway i can.
U wun allow mi.. haha..
The more i try to help.. the more irratation i gives u..
So.. i guess.. i'll just wait till u are willing to initiate a tok with mi.
And.. dun think tat will ever happen.
Cause u dun initiate a tok with others.. haha..
Thinking back.. i had been quite a good boi with u..
Last time.. i was bad.. haha and i changed..
I got more commited this time.
Might not be my best.. but i improved..
Self boast.
Lala... its just mi.. and it still mi..
I alway look back into wad i done.. learning tat i grown so much more..
Haha...i kinda miss the kola bear..
I shouldn't be saying this should i?..
Makes u get more mad.. den i guess i stop...if i can ... no promises..
I learn to treasure things more then be4..
Haha.. nv take things for granted, u never noes wads going to be lost..
Anyway.. just to tell u..
Good luck for yr exams..
Study hard..
Dun stress out..
Most importantly.. dun fall sick : )..
More to come.. haha ..

2009-07-23T07:01:00.000-07:00

Woke up feeling unwell today.
But still went to school today...
Den reach home.. my temp was up to 38.1 haha.. lalal..
Crappy..
Den.. didn't go for Cg..!
Rah.. sad..
I so long nv go Cg le.. Haiz..
I see everything falling back to where i once started...
Wondering y is this happen...
I came and stayed because of it.. now.. i see it gone one by one..
I wonder y is this happening...
Maybe because of wad happen recently...
Still trying to get back to my life back then...
But den... its not going to stop where i intend to...
Its moving mi back more... more away from where i last was..
I'm losing it..
Back to where i was at sec2...
I see everything coming back...
Every since of them...
They had been gone for awhile...
And now.. back to be pressuring mi..
Nvm... sooner or later.. it doesn't matter... let it be..
When thing goes bad.. its goes reali bad..
Dun wanna care abt it anymore..
I'm giving it up..
I'm seeing things... double vision..
Alway see them in dreams .. later on in RL...
Sometimes.. real sometimes fake....
Just like old time.

2009-07-22T08:18:00.000-07:00

Today...
Hahaa.. i went to school!...
With a smile on my face.. lolz..
Yea.. today.. something funny happen again...
My friend was toking abt his GF... getting mes...
Hahaah...
Told someone.. abt tat thing be4..
Haha.. i was glad nothing much happen with us...
Or else.. tat might be a problem.. haha!..
Hahaa..
Yea.. today was a long long day..
When to PGSM straight after school..
Learned something new abt IP address haha!
Val.. said.. i can't be emo.. if she is with mi..
Maybe.. i should bring her everywhere i go..
Lolz..Den i can nv be emo..
Ever again..
Haha.. tats all..
Laalalalala...

2009-07-21T05:13:00.000-07:00

Today.. i went to school..! haha and i was on time!..
Lolz...
Well i got nothing to tok today.. just have a few thoughts.
Haha...
I haven been in a relationship.. for like 2 years.. and.. haha.. after i tried it again...
It ended the same!.. oh my.. haha.
Nvm nvm.. i still got years to come!..
Haha.. guess so.. maybe after army den go find new one.. haha!..
Lolz..
Hahaha.. just one more thing..
I thought of something crappy today..
Love is like durians...
Haha.. there is sweet and sour durians at times!..
And.. the durian spike hurts yr hand!..
So.. u get wad i meant't rite?! haha..
I'm hungry... w8ing for food to come home haha!!..

2009-07-20T08:07:00.000-07:00

Today.. its the starting of a new module again haha..
This lecturer is buai pai de lo!
Haha.. his good..
Anyway.. lets not tok abt him..
Cause this post wasn't reali meant for him..
Its kinda meant for myself.. haha
Today's topic is about friends...
I thought abt this on my way home.
I was thinking back.. how friends are important to mi..
No matter wad.. there are always people who stand by my side,when i'm down..
Well.. i can give a list of them and thanks them..
John,
Shipei,
Valerie,
Zi ling,
Hermin,
Hong rui,
Desiree,
AND MY BAO BEI MEI MEIS. SEEYIN, NWAYx2.
Haha..
The people who stand by mi when i'm quite down..
Haha..
I find tat friends are veri important to mi..
Even if there is like so little who reali understands mi..
And noe wad i wan..
But actually,can say all of them dun noe mi tat well..
Haha...but no matter wad they are still my friends..
Though i wan friends tat are reali reali.. veri understandable.. of everything tat i do..
Friends tat know wad i'm thinking.. and i wanan do..
Like.. the food i eat..
The things tat i like to do..
Haha...
Reali rare to find friends like tat around mi..
Maybe its my problem..
I always ask myself..
Be4 i blame others.. there must be something wrong abt mi ..
Tats y there will be this problem..
Till now i haven find out wads my problem..
Haha.. Gaga..
Lolz..
Hopefully.. there will be friends tat will be veri close to mi..
Gurls and bois... haha.. it will be great : D..
Hehe.. love it..
End of todays post..!! haha

2009-07-20T02:11:00.000-07:00

Thinking back.. how i came to God.. how i noe God..
It was so long ago..many many years back tat..
When i was still so young..
Back then i was onli K1..
Haha... so young.. still rmb wad i did..
I was one bad boi.. back den..
My p school is also a place i noe abt God..
Hahaha.. it was a chirstian school..
When i was p5.. i still rmb..
Every recess.. i skip it.. or just buy some snacks, and when to listen to the preaching tat my teacher gives....
This makes mi feel like.. so amazing.. like wad happened.. how my life slowly gotton into chirst..
Still rmb... when i'm lazy to do my homework..
I'll say. God.. if u are real.. do my homework for mi..
Haha..
Den.. after i left P school..
And... my life kanna got bad..
My mum brought mi to the diao tang places..
Yucks..
Felt so .... with them..haha.. post first going to school need get dressed :D

2009-07-19T20:23:00.001-07:00

Today.. i didn't went to school again..
I seriously dun noe wad i'm doing..
Trying to figure out.. wad are my wants and needs.
Wad are my priority.
I reali failed badly..
I fall badly.
And i'm not picking up where i fell,twice.
I guess i nv learn..
I'm still thinking.. still thinking... and my thoughts nv stop..
Imagining things... busy brain..
Onli rest when i slp.. poor mi.
Haha..
Helped my mother replaced the storeroom lights.. and got myself cut..
Haiz... haha..
Didn't notice until the blood dripped on my leg lolz..
I was like.. Ewww.. where this come from..
Later to notice.. oh.. i'm bleeding -.-haha..
Tats all ... i'm hungry.. haven eat for like... sooo long haha

2009-07-19T07:02:00.000-07:00

Knowing.. tat u will not reply mi..
So i might as well blog it..
Cause u are going to read it sooner or later..
Even.. if u dun it dun reali matters.
Well.. i already gave up the thought tat u have left.. and wun be coming back..
So.. maybe u wanna stop saying tat u dun wanna give mi an idea of chances.
Tat u might come back to mi ...
I already gave tat thought out already..
Fine den.. u can ignore mi all u wan..
It dun reali matter..
I'll just have to go back to my old self again..
Tats all...
Whether u wanna tok to mi anot..
I got nothing.. to say...
Dun wanna be friends den let it be..
U wun be the first.

Our mermories.

2009-07-19T02:59:00.000-07:00

This post... idk wad is it posted for.. for our mermory?..
Haha... its a happy mermory.. so.. lets smile and laugh..
First day.. i met u.. was on Red Rain..
U was known as the PDA gurl to mi..:)
When i saw it.. i saw there was a click..
I got home den.. i added u on facebook..: ).
After tat.. i started calling u the PDA gurl.. haha..
Den we starting toking.. for a veri veri while..
Haha..Den we watch rock camp 2gether..
Den we tok abt the gurl... haha..
After tat... we exchange number cause u are going to slp.. went u have school the next day..
Lala... den we message for the whole day..
We talk like there was nv ending...
Tat lasted for awhile.
I dated u out one day..
On jun 02.. tues.. to watch T4..
Haha.. its was a funny but great day..
We had a couple seat..
Still rmb mi kept eating the popcorn... den haha..
But after awhile... found your hand.. and hold it : )..
After the movie.. i was hungry!!..
But u was not.. claiming tat u are pregnant..
Haha.. i still haven rmb the wads tat retailer name..
And i still rmb.. holding yr hand walking down the street.
Den.. worst still..my ah yi saw both of us!..Lol..
Haha..
After tat.. we didn't noe wad to do..and we started walking around and "shop"
Got a little sian.. den i decide to send u home : )..
Haha..took the train and went home :D...
Manage to sent u all the way to yr bus stop..and u didnt wan mi to go too close to yr house..Fearing tat yr father will find out..
Haha.. so cute..
I still rmb... tat i wanted a kiss be4 i go.. and u nv give.. haha..
Soo.. cute....
Den.. on friday... went to the airport with u and studying with muying they all.
Haha.. still got...i kept looking at the show in the tv and didn't do my things.
After tat.. i need to go to school..
And just nice.. everyone is going there!.
Den we can't be 2gether alone.. haha..
U are also meeting yr sister.. so there is limited time..
So.. u acted as if u are meet yr sister at bugis..
Den.. shake away muying they all..
Haha.. den we walked to the train.. pei u go down..
Den the train came!.. so fast.. and u decided to miss it.
And stay with mi and tok for awhile..
Den the next train came...
U noe i was going to kiss.. but u dun noe when..
And i rmb.. my first kiss.. was kinda painful haha..
Pulled u to mi too hard.. den bang into yr check bone lolz..!!
Srry luh.. Haha.. den we quarrel with tat first kiss..
Trying to say if it count or not..
Sooo cute...
Den..one day.. u came to my house and study.. haha.. Guess it was on a monday..: )
Haha.. i kinda 4gt wad day was it.. but i rmb wad we did : )..
Its my couch!!..rmb??..
Told ya.. u will like my couch.. haha..
Guess its was the first time u hugged mi..
Haha..
Den.. after tat.. u need to go home..sad!!..
But u pei mi awhile below my blog be4 u go..
Haha... i 4got something!.. Your smell!!.
Whenever u are close to mi..
There will be a smell.. not smelly luh..
Something tats nice ok!!
Haha.. den wed.. u started to miss mi..
Den..we met up for dinner!!..
Eat xia mian..and u didnt ate much.. cause of yr "pregnant" thing.
Haha.
After tat... send u to the MRT.
Still rmbing tat kiss i gave u haha..
Den on sat..haha..
U went out with yr friends to a flee market thingy.
Haha.. den u got a surprise for mi : D.. hehe.
Den on the way there i said u was at city hall,and my next stop is city hall!
Haha.
I went down at city hall and waited for her..
Den when she came we board the next train!..
Haha.. and guess wad?! ranford was in the same cabin!
Was dam lucky tat we didn't do anything things...
Lolz..
Haha...Things happened... so much to say... and i just gotten lazy :/
HAHA!! dun blame mi luh.. u noe i love u.. : )
Well... cut it short.. though it was meant to be along and sweet thing..
U noe.. mood changes..
Well... i guess other post are all dumb.... its just down grading myself..
Just realise.. how stupid i'm..
Well... u made up yr mind.. theres nothing i can do.. : )..

2009-07-18T10:21:00.000-07:00

Today.. i didn't feel like going to church.
Val and shi pei asked mi to go...
Haha... Convinced by Val.. i went..
So crappy.. it like i go to church onli when people convince mi to go.
Haiz...
I was super moody.. super tired...
Can't believe i gave the ushers so much of a dao face..
And.. had to give fake smiles to entertain..
Haiz..
Seriously.. i had been thinking... the reason tat u left mi is abit.... something i cant take it..
idk y.. Everything looks well for mi..
The thing was so overnite... it was same as last time..
I reali dun noe wad to react.. when u tell mi.. tat..
Till now... many doubts have not been cleared to mi yet.
I wonder y can't we work things out..
Since u said.. u like to be with mi..
I made u happy..
I made u 4gt abt yr ex.
U made mi realise alot of new things...
I know i'm stupid saying all this... as u already made yr mind.. not to come back again..
I'll try to respect yr desicion,i can't promise u tat.. cuase i noe.. somehow.. i will break it.
I just didn't noe wad to do..
I didn;t expect it coming at all..
Though tat this will be the last time i ever get into one relationship..
Just nothing is everlasting...
During service.. i was thinking abt a few choice to make...
Well... have thought of them on the way to church..
I dun noe y u wanna leave mi...
A level's.??
Or... u dun love mi.. w/e...
Yea.. now u already dun love mi anymore...
Tats kinda.. saddening..
Today... when our eyes first met..
U gave everything out...
Yr eyes.... i saw them... it was like.. hey.. look.. novel is here.. hope his ok..
Den i looked away... just dun noe wad to do..
U are making it so hard for mi.. maybe u... idk..
I'll just say.. cuase u are going to ignore mi anyway.. so it doesn't matter..
Yr exams are coming.. i'll be going to burden u... or w/e..
So.. one of the choice was...
Me... leaving.. everything..
Walking out of yr life.. u wun ever get to c mi again..which is the running away term u said when we are 2gether..
Does it matter anyway..?.. its up to u to say...
Mi leaving everything of yours will be the onli way i can peace down myself..
And let time heal mi..
Tat will be in 9 days time...
Unless.. something happens... tat something... is something tat i wun expect..
Second choice...
Is tat... u might have a chance to c mi.. but it will be rarely..
My existence in the CG will no longer be there..
But my existence in church will still be there..
So by luck.. u can c mi... but not for long.
Thats my second choice...
My third is..unrealistic..
Which is u coming back..
Maybe it can be real.. but the chances i see is low..
U noe.. i alway have the thought.. tat keeps mi going..
But actually i'm deciving myself..
It goes like this.. my mind always tell mi..
Hey.. its ok.. its going to be alright...
She will come back to u after her A's...
After tat... u and her can be 2gether again... and things will be the same...
Haha.. funny rite?..
This whole post is today kinda post to tok to u..
Be it tat u will be reading or not..
Or will u reply or not..
Guess u wun...
U dun wanna give mi.. not even a slim chance of thinking tat u will come back to mi..
Today.. when i saw yr side view...
My eyes and brain.. worked like a camera...
Took yr face down.. and its still in my brain..
U will alway be in my heart..
My mind is all made up for the first choice...
I have already thought wad will be your reaction..
But.. does it matters..?... tat all i have to say...
Whether u read it or not.. it doesn't matter.

2009-07-17T08:32:00.000-07:00

Never go school today...
Lala.. intended to study... but... thoughts just can't stop coming..
They are unrealistic but.. i still think abt them..
Its like thoughts thinking abt the way we got back again..
For all i noe.. w/e tat i think off,will nv be true.
The more i think the more fake it is.
My econ exam is fucked up already..
Totally flunk..
I wanna share with u.. but.. there no point..
Meaningless..
Its already too late..
Still thinking... y it got started.. and y it ended...
Sad... my exams are over..
Its time where i sit down and do nothing..
And c wad happens..
I noe.. u will be reading this..
I got nothing much more den the same thing to say...
I know.. i bring nothing den disappointment..
Have been like this for the past few year..
Yet its still the same..
Too bad..
I wore yr shirt today to my exam..
I smelled u..
I feel so glad.. and its as if u came back to mi.. and is right by my side in my arms..
Later to realise its just my thoughts.

2009-07-16T08:03:00.000-07:00

Struggle my way out of bed today..
Was kinda tired..But still got out of bed..went to school like normal..
Lol.. den zoe's(my ex)class came to my school today.
Went downstairs to say hi..
Haha...
Learn how to blog in school today.. haha.. those typing was sooo soo irrating..
Who cares.. its kinda fun...Haha.. when i was doing the exercise.. i kept listening to Nobody and Jiekou..
Lalala.. u get wad i meant.
If u dun .. ask mi -.-
I wan nobody but YOU..
U noe..?.. Yea.. even if u do ... u wun wan mi.. haha.. kinda use to it..
Though it onli being twice.. but.. it enough..
Everytime.. telling myself.. i'll not step into tat zone..
But i always did..
Haha... i intend to chiong 5 chaps of econs today..
But idk y.. when i got home.. sianess falls on mi..
Yea.. lala.. den ending up i didn't study...
Hahas.. nvm...2morrow is my exam...
Yea.. this word exam link to another trail of thoughts.
I'm thiking everyday..
Every single ting also can think..
Haha..

2009-07-15T08:16:00.000-07:00

I always have been a disappointment,
Now i noe how it feels like to be disappointed.
Life is about up and down..
Gonna be careful to noe when u are hitting the floor.
Today.. i woke up at 10am.. intending to go to school..
But den.. i just dun feel like it..
I feel so depressed and disappointed.
All i wanna do if.. hide myself in something and keep doing it..
Den i start studying and noting my econs..
For a straight 2h.. den my mother came back..
She broke the silences in the house.
The min she step in the house, she start screaming and yelling..
Quite super pissed off.
Den she start calling people and tok so loudly tat i can't concentrate..
Fucking piss off..
Wore my clothes packed my book and notes and went downstairs..
Today is the day tat i studied the most for my self.. 6h in a row..
The longest last time was 3h -.-...
Super super depressed.
Econ exam on friday..
And i onli completed 5chaps..
So dead..
My thoughts have been lesser now.
But they nv end.. i wonder y.
I wish i can just press fast forward, so it will end faster..
Trying my best to let it go.
All i wanna noe is wad kinda person am i ?..
Guess tats hard..
I saw karma coming back on mi...
Regretted wad i did last time..
Too bad.. i see it all coming back to mi now..
I'm trying to forgive, but hatred is coming more den forgiveness.
Things have yet to change for so long..
Veri long.. ever lasting..
How saddening..
I have return to the emo mi..
When i got out for just 1 month plus..and now threw back into it again.
Gonna climb out of it slowly..
Memories, had alway been meaningful to mi.
Though it bring sadness and and happiness.
Places in my memory can recall many things.
Eunos,
PGSM's creepy staircase,
Bugis mrt station,
Airport popeye,
My own house,
My bed,
My couch,
My bear,
My first shirt,
Church,
City leisure,
My mrt station,
Mrt,
My house's bus stop,
The song no body,
So many much more.. tat saying them out makes mi more sad.
Always been a loner.. Emo kid is my name ..
Gonna end it soon, hopefully.
Still tinking if i should go school 2morrow..
I wan nothing, but just yr response.
I met up with my buddy today..
Saw his pretty stead... haha..winked at her and my buddy scold mi..
Haha.. joker :D..
Today's post is just like a roller coaster.. upppp annndd dowwnn.
Tats life anyway...
Hahas.. even if u read.. u wun care..
I'm sorry but i still have to say..
Nothing hit mi harder den wad u said.
How i hate this word sorry.
A word tat hit mi always.
Idk y i'm saying this.. but... i'm just saying it..
I'm still immature i guess.
How i wish there is someone there for mi.. who is transparent to mi.
And i can share everything with him/her.
Someone that will stand by mi,support mi guide mi through the hardness of life.
I thought of going into army.. now..
Wads wrong with mi..
Somethings for sure,
I lived up to all my promises, nv make promise tat u will break.
Yea... if u read ... u noe wad i'm toking abt... maybe..
It will be better i make u hate mi.
Cuase.. wad i wan can't be get..
Like wad i said be4.. it feels so irratated tat u can see but u cant have..
Lifes is about to love, but not to hold.
Onces a loner alway a loner.. gonna let it be..

2009-07-13T08:12:00.000-07:00

My God.. is a amazing God.Amen.
Today.. starting .. it was kinda of a bad day..
So is it in school.
Den i started to pray in tongues and pretend to be slping..
Haha... but it was still the same ...
Den i was still emoing on the way home...
So when i bathe.. i prayed again..
I prayed tat i 4get abt her.. all the thingy.. haha
Den felt a little better.
After tat.. i went to school..
Things kept running in my mind..
Throughout the whole lesson.. i complete learned nothing.
I prayed again..
After tat lesson ended.. i learn nothing..
I figure out.. this can;t work.. no matter wad...
So.. i decide,to make up my mind to let her go and just be her friend..
Haha.. so i typed a 9 page long message to her..
Telling her everything i felt.. and i got better. : D
And after tat... a smile just came out of my face... in the middle of the train..
Basket.. so malu..
Haha... i feel great..

2009-07-11T10:24:00.000-07:00

Today... was great..!.
Sermon was short,sweet,sharp and zhun!
Yea.. i reali like wad Pst said Genesis 15;2.
It was when i ask God to help mi get a way out of her.
Den Pst said tat, God will not give us Eliezar.. But will give what we shall inherit.
So.. it came to mi.. she is my Eliezar.. God is going to give mi something much more even better den her..
I'm so touch by wad Pst said.. Thk u Pst..
Den after service... kinda emo by a side.. sitting down hugging my legs.. and "slp"
Haha.. hopefully i get no one to worry abt mi..
I can handle it!..
D5 i noe... u guys wanna be by my side.. fighting the way out.. : ).
Thanks alot..
After all tat.. jieru mi john and nick went to some place.. (idk where -.-) and ate dim sum!
Lolz.. it was fun... i share with john abt wad happen.
Yea.. was nice today..
Den... the even better thing is!.
When i got home.. i made my msn PM
Novel says she are my Eliezar.
Den guess wad?!!
My buddy... who is super anti chirst asked mi wad is Eliezar..
Den..i just said.
haha bible thing luh.. i shall explain to u.. u can choose not to listen
Its actually a guy call Abram who wanted a son veri badly.. and God promise to give him one but den after a veri veri long time still dun have.. so he grew despo and intend to adopt his servant Eliezar as his son.But God tells him.. he is giving him his own flesh and blood.And Eliezar is just an average guy.. But God will give Abraham .. the best of all which is his son Issac.
Den he replied.
Woah.Give mi website read..
I said.. from bible la dae.!
Den he said lend mi bible la.!
I was so shock and happy and started jumping around the house like siao... at 1am +
Lolz.. funny!!..
And he promise to come church next next week!.
Hear liao si bei song.. haha!.. Gonna pray hard for he appearance in church!
Haha..MY BUDDY IS COMING TO CHURCH.. WOW..
All thanks to her, Pst Hao and mi! hehe.. : )...
Hopefully he get save..

2009-07-10T10:15:00.000-07:00

Another... boring day in school...
All i did was.. went to school late.. did one job sheet.. ate breadfast,return class and went home.
Wad A lame day ?..
Haha..crappy...
Den... was deciding whether to go to church...
Was on the side tat... if i go wad will happen ?...
Like if i see her... wad will i react..
If i dun go... wad will i lose.?..
With john,shi pei and melissa.. encouraging mi to go.. finally.. i went with much persuasion..
Its have been long ever since i saw melissa.. kinda missed her..
Haha.. den sat with her during service.. sermon was great.. made mi make some new choices..
Today.. this service.. was one of my best.
Y..? cause.. i sang,prayed,cried,gave all i had.
All tat i have i just threw to God, all my troubles,my doubts,my faith,everything.
Knowing tat in return will be nothing but more blessing.
I cried out.. for God more den ever... cause this is the time when i need him even more..
How i love today..
Though i didn't hang out with my CG after service..
Just dun feel like it...
Srry D5... i promise i'll get better.. : )..
I'm ok.. i'm alright..
Tats... the end of today's post..
Just wanna add something personal.
Baby.. u noe i love u..
Its ok.. if u dun wanna come bak.. the choice its for ever yours..
I'll promise.. i'll get over it..
U can 4ever come bck to mi.. : )..
Sometimes.. i'll give u the fked up face.. but.. bare with it ok?..
I just dun noe wad to respon or wad to do or say when i look to u..
: )... nothing much to say... i guess tat all..

2009-07-08T08:20:00.000-07:00

Nothing much today....
Finally got the book for my school.
Intended not to go to school haha.. but gena called mi and ask mi go..
Lalala.. i shall be a good boi for once and listen to her..
Went to school.. on the way .. i brought a pie kia pie.. and walking to school.. it rained!
Dam lolz..den.. nvm.. i was late for class for 1h haha..
Den i wan eat my pie.. cause i was super hungry!. Lolz..
Den Mr lau, dun let mi eat.. when i take out my pie he ask mi put back..
I did.. den i ate the pie when its in the bag..
Lolz.. den he go super pek chek and everyone in class laugh..
haha... my class is alway full of laughter..Cool..
Brights up my day..: )
Den... still got!!.
After 10 mins in class.. -.-.. its lunch time..
Haha. rite!?
Yea... w/e..
After lunch... go back for lesson again..
It was a practial lesson..
Den... bu xiao xin.. use too much force den the screw driver cut mi..
Ouch.. haha..
Lalala.. den i finally got my work done after 5 times or retry haha..
STUPID CABLE.
After i was done with the work.. i go around disturbing people.. haha
Den i hugged Boon Ping from behind.. later to realise.. the feeling was totally different from hugging someone else... sad.. too bad, theres nothing i can do.
Den dismiss!!..Woo...
Went straight to PGSM...
Dam sian... ate alone.. den when to school and slp for awhile..
Haha.. super tired..
Den stupid berwin..
Keep making mi laugh and gao gay with mi..
Super irrating..
Come touch my thigh.. den touch my waist..
Eww..Den later blow kiss to someone across the class..
STUPID IDIOT!
Den later PS mi and go eat supper alone..
Lalala.. and soon finally home.. lolz..
Today is a long and boring post.. haha..
My bday wish for this year!
!) i was pass all my studies..
2) i wish ah yi can pei mi alot..
3) i wish i can get a gurl tat wun leave mi.
4) i wish all my scars will be heal by the power of God.
5) i wish ah yi go back to church.
6) i wan have a bond with all my family members veri close bond.
7) i wish i can grow taller
8) i wish i'll have no friends leaving mi.
9) i wan all my friend to stay veri veri close with mi.

2009-07-07T08:59:00.000-07:00

Today.. is another boring.. day at school..
I'm starting to hate my mother..
Cause till now.. she didn't noe something she did.. had actually scared her son..
So much tat he is veri afraid..
Haiz..
I fear death more den anything..
I hate to say this.. but.. its wad i think.
Haiz... how i wish,everything can stop.
And i have everything done and have ample time to do wad i like.
But i guess tats impossible..

2009-07-06T08:19:00.000-07:00

Today.. is the first day of my school..
Was to reach at 8 am..
Guess wad time i reach?!.. haha.. 10 am!!.
And.. when i reach there.. -.- just nice break time.. lolz.. den went to eat lunch..
Today first day of school was veri veri sian..
Yea.. today wad kinda of a crappy day.. was super tired... cause the whole nite..
See yin and nway nway first time hear mi cry and tok for the same time..
Haha.. funny luh?.. Dun think so?.. Ok fine.. i shut up..
Crap..
Tat phrase i last used..
Yea...I wanna say something which.. dun reali wan other to understand..
But just feel like saying them out.. for the better.
356473 4 73254 5683 8 4 386 926 8 86 53283 63 753273 4 73254 73254 234 8 4 5569 8 9455 7323 8447 263 3335 723 288 487 65 8 226 5878 228 27 43668464 42773633 263 538 8463 4325 64 4 732545683 8 386 46 753273
Guess tats all i wanna say..

2009-07-05T07:44:00.000-07:00

Sat post.. was too lazy to post.... haha.. so.. i rather no post..
Actually... i got nothing i felt like saying after hearing some thing..
Yea.. sad.. too bad for mi.

2009-07-03T09:16:00.000-07:00

Today ... was a funny day!!..
Haha.. class was so so so funny..
Stupid berwin.. keep disturb mi in class..
He stupid.. take tat tiger plam.. put on his nose liao.. left over put at my mouth..
Made mi shout and laugh in the middle of class!..
Haha..
Den after tat stupid berwin got flu thanks to tat tiger plam... stupid rite?!
Yea.. stupid berwin..
Tats the funny day of mine!

2009-07-01T09:10:00.000-07:00

Today... everything didn't when veri well.. kinda sad..
Yea.. plan failed..
But.. i didn't lose my Actual cost.. : )..
So its.. ok..
One more thing tat i wanna say it..
Baby.. i love u..
I ain't running away with another hot gurl..
Just u alone will be content for mi..
No matter tat.. I'm yours..
Trust mi baby..
I love u..
Dun be insecure..
There no one else other den u ... tat i wanna love..

2009-06-30T09:40:00.000-07:00

When out with my baby today to watch transformer..
Its was dammmm coool!!
Haha... Dam.. happy to c my darling.. again..!
I got a job.. lolz.. haha so happy i got job..
Lalalal... Today .. i got to noe some secrets of my darling! haha..

2009-06-29T09:18:00.000-07:00

..Today is a crappy day...
My econ test was... badly done.. crap.. sad..
Haiz..
But.. on my way home i saw viven! haha..
She is one of the people i miss!!
Veri long nv c her lolz..
Den saw her going home with her bf..
Lolz.. den went to tok to her.. hehe..
Have a nice chat.. catch up with each other..
haha.. shiok shiok..

2009-06-28T06:12:00.000-07:00

Exams was not tat bad on sat..
Just tat i have to wake up veri veri early and go school and take the exams...
Haha.. hopefully i can score well for it!
Den after exams when to church for serivce!!..
I fell aslp in the sermon.-.-
Lalala... den was super duper shag tat day..
John didn't book out!
Sad,, miss him siol haha..

2009-06-26T09:55:00.000-07:00

People i miss..
Fion
Yaoyun
LeYing
Nway nway
Shi hui
Viven
Shi min
Li Hua
See yin
Sec 4 class mate.
Hai inn shi members...
How i wish to be with them again..haha..
Sad case... Err.. dun get the wrong idea.. they are not my EXs.. lolz..
Horrible to have so many..
Just miss them as a friend.. : )...
Theres still more which i can't recall i guess...

2009-06-26T08:55:00.000-07:00

Ten reason y Novel loves his baby.
1.She is Pretty
2.Lovely
3.Caring
4.Sexy!
5.Smell nice!
6.Cute
7.I love her.
8.Hot
9.Funny
10.Because she loves mi :)
Haha.. today i went to school just to hand in my tutorial..
And for the rest of the lesson didn't reali take in anything lolz..
Novel hates his econ teacher.. totally KNS..!
Haha.. den during the break... i zhao lor with other classmates to chiong home and study!!
Till now not much have been studied..
Its my first PGSM exam 2morrow..
So scary.. I'm kinda scare rite now..
Hopefully i can wake up in time and go there haha!..
Yea.. tats all..
I miss john : (

2009-06-24T21:18:00.000-07:00

Its.. been long ever since i post..
So i thought of reopening my blog!!
Haha...
Many things have happen...
So times i have the weird feeling to blog everything out,
But when i'm creating post.. i became sian.. and just shortcut everything!
And i know.. no one will actually read my blog.
So i think i just blog for my sake haha..
Ytd nite.. when on the way home with berwin, i said all the things tat i was unhappy in my family out..
It felt more relax.. and like someone say.. a problem said.. the load will be shared half.
Yea.. my father haven been toking to mi for awhile..
Which irritates more when i tok to him nicely.. and he reply in a veri unhappy way.
How sad... just feel like hitting him and vending all the anger i have out on him.
I reali miss the old times we had have with each other..
But.. idk whose fault is it... now.. he dun even wanna tok to mi and my sister..
How i wish his heart can just open up and tok to us..
I guess i should stop toking abt him.. cuase he reali make mi fed up..
So sad.. i wan a student plan!!
And my mother dun wan sign for mi !! WTH?!!
Lalala...

2009-03-26T07:59:00.000-07:00

Lazy blog.. fan zhe blog liao also no one read.. sian..
crap..

2009-02-23T21:57:00.000-08:00

Looking back the the post u blogged..
Just like the old times.
How i miss the old times...
I guess i reali dun noe wad happen back there.. or i'm just unable to accept it.
I guess i dun wanna noe wad happen.
I miss it ...
Though i wan a turning back..
But i can't feel the turning back.
It felt like thousand needles piercing in my heart.
I done wad i did.
I regretted wad i had done.
Disappointment happening in every's lifes.
And i brought in to everyone i noe more den anything else.
Blog end.

2009-02-05T05:03:00.001-08:00

Dragonboat is fun!!.Huat arh!
But the rive stink!..
It smell so ... tat i wanna puke..Super duper er xin.
But.. rowing the boat is fun.
With my friend.. we won the race we had with other class!.
First place arh!
Its long since i blog.. time to update...
School is fun so far.
The is a place where we can play computer games!
So cool lolz.. everyday go there play L4D. Lol.
Till now kinda sian already.
Feelings aren't going rite..
I'm heading the wrong way again..
Looking back.. trying to go back the way i came from.
But idk y i just can't do it..
And deeper and deeper i go into the world of darkness.
Trapping myself in my world..
Struggling to get out,but in vain.
Viewing yr pictures make my heart crack.
Tears falling down.
Idk if i should hope tat there is no starting for tat time.
Or should i hope tat there should be a better ending,
Perhaps no ending at all.
I miss everything.

2009-01-22T07:03:00.000-08:00

Brought a brithday present for Li hua le!
Though its nt tat one tat i intend to buy,
but after all she like it veri much.
When to school with her...
Its been long since i go back to school.
I miss my friends.
How i wish i nv left tat place.
Leaving westwood is just like moving into a whole new place.
Today go school ... waa see so many people..
So sian .. dun dare go call my kan ma out of the staff room den jiu run home le ..
but at least i saw my cosuin mei mei and jie jie and friends.
Tats quite good already.
Reali miss school alot.
School is nt tat worst yet.
I miss the feeling of having someone close by mi.
Where she is so close tat i can smell her hair, feel her beside mi.
Sad..
Everytime i like a gurl,
She will be either too many people chioing or dun wan relationship...
How sad...
Life is reali so unpredictable
Sad?.. yea sad!
Getting despo day by day ...
Just cant stand when u c the temptation.
I miss tat kinda feeling and wonder when is it coming back .
though i wan it so badly but i no longer have faith in it..
In the appearance i might look strong but inside i'm a britter and a glass.
One small thing can make mi so hare wire.
I wan to have a relationship but dun have faith in it.
Wan to tell how much i love her.
But alway dun have the guts.
How... sad.... life is going down down down day by day ..
No matter how strong i'm .. i can't do it alone.
I need the other one.
Which has yet to be come.
Sad...
Ended

2009-01-18T07:54:00.001-08:00

All i wan it this,and this is all i wan.
It can't be done.
How sad.
Wads the point?
When i wan it,u dun give it.
When i give it,u dun wan it?
The feeling of the ending draw nearer each day.
The urge, feels stronger and stronger.
Hopeless.
Pointless.
Meaningless.
Helpless.
Words of death.
No matter how strong u are, u can't make it.
Cuase yr u are missing a piece of life.
This post sux.
Emo... post.... crap.
Onli the understandable will understand.
For the not understandable will take a while to understand.
Looks hard but its easy.
See and feel wads real and fake.
Or lose out throughout.

2009-01-02T07:53:00.000-08:00

Ai yo .. a blog with one reader...
Errr better den nothing..
Updating on new year eve.
When to church... my church was like .. kai party lolz.
So messy. Games everywhere.
So fun. Fool around. Play games, and eat!!
Lolz. so much fun tat day.
Its the starting of the new year.
But it seem like i'm nt looking forward.
Looking backwards, the pass i had.
The times we have together.
All seems to come to a end.
How is wish i can say bye bye to year 2008.
But.. i seem like it hard.
Nvm..
Lets nt talk abt this.
After the count down.. Clean up time!!
Weee... so fun but tired cleaning up lol.
After clean up.. oh no!
No more train...
o0. ai yo .. go to my good brother house.. Ryan!!
Weee lolz... his house at gelyang siol..
Den we when to eat dao hui.
And head to Ryan house and bathe and orh orh!!
Wad a day.. =.=?
End of new year.

Seems like wads goes around comes around

2008-12-23T09:49:00.000-08:00

Came back to revive my blog..
Haven been posting cuase i dun realli have the moody to blog ..
Yea everything in my life just change.
Started doing thing tat harm myself more.
Not facing the problem, but running away from it.
I'm always tell myself to face it but sometimes idk y, i just can't
Too bad,.. I'm going to ITE.
Let it be.
Maybe a new place for mi to start a fresh,
Get brothers and sister tat will reali alway stay with mi no matter wad happen.
And not PS everytime.
Haiz... Wad comes around goes around.
Its coming to end of the year.
And looking back.
It seem like i have done nothing good this year.
Disappointed is the word for it.
Was blog jumping and saw zoe's blog
Looks like there is problem...
Haiz..
Wad else can i do ?
I have a sudden feeling when i c her photos.
My heart just crack.
Guess like ... somethings are harder to forget.
Posting to a blog with no readers.

2008-12-06T07:51:00.000-08:00

Weee, i finally can work at the redeption counter!
Super fun!!! The people at T3 are veri kind,sweet and cute!
Ya i love them lo lolz.. And my working partner also veri cute.!
She treated mi dinner lolz.
So nice lolz.
Airport work is veri fun lolz!! i love it .. there is much more detains tat i 4got alredy
Sorry lolz. ya tat all la..
Den wed i fell sick ... lalala .. den friday when to work!
Lolz.... friday de thing i dun wan to say too much :/
Haha is lazy ..
Just tat the nite shift came late and i miss my last train so ended up i when to my ah yi house and stay over nite lols.My days are numbered

2008-12-02T05:39:00.000-08:00

Monday!
There is a zone outing!
We when swimming at boon lay there..
Veriiii fun lolz.. i so long nv swim liao .. finally got people pei mi to swim.
Den den den .. after tat we when to JP and have dinner!
Lol at there met SK chester and yi kiong lolz..
Eat bao liao movie time!!!
Rahh..
The movie ticket if like as long/tall as mi!
Chiwawa is super funny u guys should go and watch it!

2008-11-24T08:15:00.000-08:00

Omg, I have a break through myself!
Ushering ONE WHOLE DAY!
Its one big big break through!
Yea.. i think is more den one day..
Cuase after work the next day,also when to usher.
Tell u wad!
After 2 month!
I can finally usher!! w8ed this day for a veri veri long time already.
So glad tat i 'm given a chance to usher again!.
Asia conference is so great!.
Blew mi away man!! Too bad for those who didn't come ..
Its a quite sad thing rar i didn;t invite any friend.
For i noe tat its either aeroplane,no reply,or i'm not free : (
Haiz .. these are things tat i should nt say but den some time its better to let it out!
I had a fun time ushering people.
Usher is tired but its fun!
Asia confrence taught mi something.
Serving is a good thing.
Seeing the smile one the faces makes mi happy.
And i just discover tat i have a serving heart.
Tats a good thing. Amen!
Haha. Guess wad i learn from asia conference?
JJ lin is also a powerful chirstian!
Wow.. u nv noe rite?.. its something cool :P
He is shinning in darkness,to save people who are nt believers
Cool uh?! yea man!
Emm so much about asia conference time to change the topic!
Check it out..It my new job..
I'm working in the airport!! cool rite ?
Dun think airport onli wad..
Its nt wad u think!
Its in the departure hall there lei ..
Mai siao siao hor!Lol..
This job is something i'm veri proud off!
My frist job lolz.
Its fun.. taking the skytrain going around the places checking the stocks.
Lalala.. quite relax.. still can sit down and rest.. slp somemore!
Lolz.
Quite a long post .. not bad ..
So many days compile into one.. cool buai pai !
I think tat all.. All reader pls come and tag!! rahh

2008-11-17T08:20:00.000-08:00

Today is my bday !
So happy.. was veri high be4 12.
Well the first person who wish mi happy bday is
1---- seeyin
Waaa sian the rest i 4got lei .. to many liao ..
Nvm la .. let see yin get the frist prize lolz.. haha
Sian my sister 4got my bday .. so sad ... yea hack care .. selfish ..
Guess like my bday will be alway the same ...
Haiz .. maybe is my problem ..
... alway cant get the things i wan ..
Damit man..
I wan a mac book also so hard ??.
Its just a bday present ..
U think i onli using for games??
Shoot u man .. alway think this way ..
U noe i realli hate u ?...
There is more den 10 reason tat i wan a mac book ...
And u as a mother dun understand ...
Lalalala.. same old days..
I got a couple of wishes tat idk which one to choose.
My wishes are.
First---- My beloved friends will all come to church one day,and get save.
Second--My macbook!
Third--- To find the gurl whom is somewhere out there now ..
Fourth--Bless everyone living in this world,tat they walk to the light soon.
Fifth---- Open to public to make the wish for mi.
TYVM to those who nv 4get my bday ..

2008-11-14T07:21:00.000-08:00

My b day is coming!
Having some mix feeling :(,
so irrating.. haiz
Watch The Coffin with my mei mei .. to celebrate her b day ..
Bday coming .. do wad neh?
I wan mac book! haiz..
So hard to get money.. sob sob..
.. when can i ever get my feelings rite? :(

2008-11-05T09:19:00.000-08:00

Yea man ..
My B day is coming..
Wad should i do ?
Someone with mi ideas!?
I feel like making a steamboat idk lei ...
Or chalet? Do wad lei .... tell wo lei ...: )

2008-11-05T09:01:00.000-08:00

Yea man! i'm back from chalet.
This is quite a good chalet den last year.
Cuase there is enough food!!!!
Lol... But den hor ... veri little type..
Ai yo nvm la .. Got de eat can liao le lo.. dun wan ke kao so much la!
Den i went to watch The Coffin..
Waaa i tell u arh ...
Tat movie CAKE bodo!
Chua tio lim bei dun noe how many times..
First horror movie tat scare mi so jia lat lolz!
Sian ... i hate being poor...
Sux man..
We watched DVD through out the nite.
Song lolz.
Den the next day we when to rent bic.
And cycle here and there.... fk up ... escape alway not open... sian rite?
Crap lo. Den go play bowling lolz..
Lalalala skip skip skip..
The next day, zzz tired siol .. wake up early early to check out.
Ji ko sian de lo.
Lol.After tat when home bathe..
Den go out to church again for nick vujici
Wow he is quite a joker...
Dam cool la ..
www.lifewithoutlimbs.org
Go check it out lo...
Haiz .. teacher mummy nvm come .. sad..
Didn't tell mi also..
Sob sob...
We should all recieve by faith not by sight!
Yea...

2008-11-01T12:01:00.000-07:00

Haiz ... i called yao yun hp last sat...
Someone picked up.
But its a guy : (
Haiz ... thinking abt her all day long and i can't slp
Sad uh?
How i wish i get to noe where is she.
My sister! where are u ...
This realli breaks my heart.
Dun wanna lose anymore friend...
I have already lost some of my primary school friends.
Friend means alot to mi..
Can't believe mi without them.. >3 friends
Today i when to alex house for jadedeyes bday.
Emm looks more like a gathering.
Quite fun though :)
Watch movie till 2am.
Heng arh his house at bukit pajang onli or else i GG
Den took 45mins to walk home..
The road back home was so creepy,so scary: (
But i made home at last!
And i got blister : ( Sad
2morrow chalet den kanna this kinda thing...
Suay de lo ...
Haiz.. i missed a wonderful service today.
Wasted...
Nick vujicic is coming to my church!
For info message mi! 96176117.
I'll be glad to bring u there thought i have chalet lolz.
Hope my teacher mummy will come .. she seem so busy ...
And she keep falling sick .... sad :(
Hope she can get well soon!
Her husband is coming back soon yea!
Den got someone to take care of her.
Yipeee...
So happy my b day coming soon.
Many things on my mind .. time for the to go off... Blows.

I can be as selfish as i can be.
But i'm doing it for a greater cost.
Dun understand?
Tomorrow! u will noe.
Well i'm looking in the fourth demansion? Are u able to do it?
Its ok to lose a battle but to win a war.
Doing everything for the greater cuase.

2008-10-26T07:05:00.000-07:00

Haiz ... bao bei ma ma yu sick again .. realli nothing to say .. haiz.
Sian .. pray for her.!
I got my crumpler bag at last! dam happy.
Buy large for 164 Lol..
Friend help mi get discount from 185 become 164.. song man!
Haiz got a problem ... dun noe wad to say ...
Dun noe wad to do ... can anyone help mi ??..
Its abt a choice... haiz....

2008-10-12T09:31:00.000-07:00

I hate THEM.
In the middle of the nite nothing better to do super sian....
Some feeling unable to be said...
Yaoyun ... i think now u are out of gurl home liao le ba..
Guess u have already forgotten abt mi .
I call my friend living at east coast to look out for u ...
Hope to find u one day ...
I nv have had forgot abt u ...
My sworn sister. :)
I still rmb.... the day we met... the days we go out...
Lalalal.... Miss u..
Come find yr sister someday... i noe tat u all somewhere out there...
My life... is so much gone now..
Go toilet come back idk wad to say liao .. haiz...
Wad come around goes around ....
End of story....
Update 2morrow....

2008-10-12T00:55:00.000-07:00

Last sat... when to my uncle wedding dinner..
Lala so excited.. first time wear all white...
Lol all my aunt ren bu de wo.
All say i no meat and change so much already.
Emm its already end of my school day.
I got nothing better to do den to rot...
So sian at home 24/7 play game also sian...
Need to go out for some fresh air..
At home is sian dao ....
Hehe.
I still rmb after my class paper ,
my poa teacher treat whole class eat..
Song ... 18 dec take result he treating again...
The problem is ... will everyone have the wei kou to eat?
....Den ytd.... was zhi yan kor kor b day .
When there to play ....
Den i saw my cute cute little cousin,
Who is so excited when he saw mi ..
His name is call ah chong.
This is his cute pic!
Ma fan i put at the bottom...
My uncle hor ... waaa buai tong one sai.
Give mi drink till i zzzz zzzz
Den going home tat time zhi tao gong diao...
Den my mother scold mi lolz..
Quite fun ... too lazy to descibe wad happen. : )
Emm this is a pic which i took with ranford ,the day we watch movie
I look dam sian lolz... my cousin cute rite!
haha..... Tats all...

2008-10-05T19:22:00.001-07:00

I haven been blogging for quite awhile liao..
Due to something ... which made mi dun feel like blogging.
Today morning nothing to do ... so i come tok tok abit lolz.
Sat was my uncle wedding dinner so i went there..
Interesting.. A lot of his friend do not eat meat ..
Emm den my table alot of leftover food.
All my ah yi throw mi to zzz eat like mad.
Lol den my sister table all eat till now full ahahahahah.
Den i drank abit :/
The hotel service was not veri good..
Wo bu xing huan ...
Lalallalala I like a song played on the wedding nite but den idk wad song name is it ... sad.?
Yea...
I also quite sian now a this day ... 144 96 nv blog liao ...
Everyday go c her blog empty empty de.
Time to put the pass behind mi.
But ... the sad thing is i can't...
Sunday nite...
My mother ask mi to off my com but i just cannot slp...
Den veri sian jiu do some push up and sit up lor ..
Train train yi xia.haha
Den jiu rmb something which lead mi back 369 Lolz.... <<<< not gang lolz dun think otherwise.
Its a gurl's name ....
Lalala.. tomorrow is my POA exam..
Which mean m y last paper...
Haiz give up liao le la...
Disappointed.
I think tat all ....
Melissa u ugly black bully woman ....
Haha

2008-09-16T02:08:00.000-07:00

Today's post will be interesting.
But i guess u guys wun understand...
Cuase i dun wan people to noe wad i;m doing.
But i feel like posting..
Here it goes.
4 56833 8447 4875 225533 744 36, 252 64243553.
4 92662 729 4 26 76779 4 732559 36 5683 8. 5878 828 4 26 866 23273 86 438 4686 2 735284667447,2322873 63 923 427736 5278. 69 43277 732559 273257 9436 4 663 8 4283 78323 9484 7663663 3573.9355 4 9268 8 86 663 828 4 5638 8,4 26 76779 263 4 9474 8 5825 9484 9687 78323. 4 5683 8.
Happy cracking the code

2008-09-15T05:45:00.000-07:00

Lalalala. Sat went to KTV and sing with hui lun,sk,victor,and ah gao.Lol
Sing half way hui loon go video down ><
Lalala den after tat sing wan liao ... home play!!!
But den i nv follow lolz.. :P
Den sunday ...
Early morning woke up gonk gonk de.
Den my sister call mi help her bring clothes to church .. zzzz
Ma fan ..
Lalalala .... My father left for taiwan later in the sunday morning ... sian ...
haiz...
Den today lei .... yea looking 4ward to go buy my bag....
Early morning wind so big ... cold dao ... zzzzz
Den after school ... go city hall c bag...
Sian 1/2 dun have the pattern i wan T.T
Sob Sob sian...
Haiz....

2008-09-08T03:47:00.000-07:00

Sian.... friday fever....+ headache.....
Pain dao zzzzzz den went to slp .
Sian den sat morning go bai ah gong zzzzz.
My mummy still ask mi go carry ice...
Stupid.... den go buy alot of things,den rite... go back to ah ma hse liao ...
My aunt ask mi go back buy something again ...
Be4 tat my mother already ask them if they need to buy anything .....
Lalalalal.... hack care them ... eat finish lunch i jiu go home liao.
Go home orh orh :D
Lalalaal monday headache den go school vomit zzzz.Lalalala
Sian .. dun feel like saying wad happen on tue and wed :P

2008-09-04T08:11:00.000-07:00

Emmm today exam not bad!
Quite easy ... but paper one i did badly i think ...
Haiz...
Yea but ...after the exam ...
Mr david chua treat us buffet!
Shiok lolz....
Ate alot till super full...
Victor lose eating to mi!!!
Huat arh i rox!
Wahahahah yea man ...
Den we played zhong ji mi ma...
Tat person who tio the number eat raw prawn!!
Suay suay ... mr chua tio whahahaha.
Lol den the next round karchin tio....
Den she dun dare eat zzzz
Bu hao wan de...
After eating.... super full... lol
Den when home...
Waaa the stupid bus driver....
Made the ride so bumpy tat i almost puke lol.
Finally reached home...
And too a good break :D
...haiz....
To her...
Dui bu ji....
I noe from the starting it my fault....
I confess but i didn't do anything...
Its my fault....
Sorry.
I reali like u but i'm not ready for it ...
Sorry.
I love u .

2008-09-03T08:27:00.000-07:00

Today .... exams early in the morning ....
Den break for more den 5h ... lalala from 9am w8 w8 8w till 2pm...
Laalalalal went to the hall and play badminton.
Den go c people play net ball.
After tat yonghui came .... and played volley ball.
Guess wad .... HE XX his pants lolz!
Den went to take my SS test...
After the test.... go home .....
Lalalalal on the way to the back gate....
I saw her haiz....
She face change when c mi ....
Make mi emo ...
Haiz.... i'm hopeless for this thing ... sob sob....
After tat when to JP and eat dinner...
Emm werid....
Den we play a stupid lip guessing game lolz..
Ran ho jiu go home....
Haiz...
Emo emo emo emo emo emo emo
Emo emo emo emo emo emo emo